"I don't know what to say. Wow. Why? No. This isn't right! This is not the answer... Please. You have to stop." Chris cried.
"I've tired..Chris it isn't so easy just to stop especially for doing it after so many years."
Everything went quiet and Chris started to cry quietly.
"Please don't cry. It's going to be okay." I mumbled quietly.
Chris stood up. Looked me in the eyes.
"NO! IT'S NOT GOING TO BE OKAY!!!"
I cried slowly and then I lost my breathe and my crying got worse.
"Sorry I didn't mean to shout. I'm..Just upset...I just care about you..so much.. And I hate to think that you're hurting yourself, I don't want you to hurt your fucking self or for anyone to hurt you. Them bitches are doing this to you and I can't sit here and act like everything is going to be okay" Chris said.
I was upset. I didn't know what to say, I hadn't a clue how to respond. I just feel like someone is stabbing me in the back a million times then all at once right now.
He wants me to stop.
I can't bring myself to make that decision. The urge kills and it helps me relax and feel alive...he's the only friend I have. I don't exactly want him to leave after knowing about my secret.
Fuck.
I've screwed things up, haven't I?
"Jenna?" Chris kept saying. I could hear it quietly in the background but I never answered.
*phone starts ringing from my pocket*
Wake me up.
Say enough is enough.
I'm dying to li-
"Hello?" I answered.
Chris was mumbling in the background as I answered the phone.
It's Alex, my brother and he doesn't sound happy.
"Where are you?! Why the fuck are you not in class?? What have I told you? You better not be dodging class again or you'll be in deep shit"
"No..no I'm not, I was just heading to class the now. I just got lost" I said hoping he would fall for it.
Then I ended the phone call.
"Look Jenna. You need to get some professional help. I can't stand seeing you like this" Chris said.
He's right.
I need help.
But I refuse.
My anxiety will just get worse.
I feel my vision going all blurry...ah fuck.
"Jenna?!?!" Chris said.
-Chris-
I can't belive what has just happened. I need her to be okay.
She needs to wake up.
