indirects // a.b

1.4

i don't know how to explain it.
it's like this dark figure that's always with me,
taunting me with thoughts that i know aren't true.
but when you came around, you were good company. you were great,
you were amazing,
you made me laugh even though i, too,
was failing my grades,
but then i fell, and you helped me up,
but you knew i fell for a reason.
i fell for you.
just with the blink of an eye,
you were gone. you couldn't stand the thought of me falling for you.
maybe you weren't interested,
maybe you just let the awkwardness get to you,
whatever it was, brought the darkness back again.
i felt so alone for so long,
then i saw a funny guy across the room one day,
and we sat and talked to eachother.
we joked, we laughed, and we bonded.
you weren't mine, because you belonged to someone else,
but then you became free.
you weren't taken by anyone,
and we were laughing again in that same room,
and i looked into your eyes and,
i thought,
maybe i could fall for you too.