Now and for the Last Time

19 장

"What is that?" I laughed as he scrambled to silence it.

"Don't do it," he said, holding up a hand. "Do not mock. You don't know the full story."

I waited.

"If you must know," he said, looking down at his phone, "it's AOA."

"Seriously?" All I knew about AOA, a girl group that has eight members, but currently have six. They was the kind of artist defined by their catchy songs. "I wouldn't have guessed that."

"I said don't mock," he reminded me.

"Then tell me the story."

A sigh, then squinted. "Okay. So, it's the beginning of school and my friend's dad, who's an artist lawyer, gets this tickets to AOA concert. We're not doing anything, and it's the whole VIP thing: limo, backstage passes, all that. So we go."

"No girls? Just you?"

"What, six guys can't go to AOA concert in the name of male bonding? You got to live." I bit my lip, trying to laugh. "So the seats are, like, third row. We're all just laughing, making fun of the opening act, having fun. Then they comes out, and there's fireworks and confetti and and they're in this outfit and they were having fun and . . ."

I nods as he continued.

"The concert was crazy, all these different songs and interactions, dancers, balloons falling, fangirls and fanboys screaming all around us. Then, about halfway through, they goes to the center where the spotlight shining on them sitting on a stool."

"They had changed outfits a few times, and they started to talk about the next song," he continued, "and how it was inspired by the fans. And then they started singing, and about a verse in, some of the members begin crying."

"Really."

"Yup," he squinted. "And we're all sitting there, only a few feet away, and I can those were actual tears, and started to think if I were an idol as well."

"Did you get emotional?"

He sighed. "I was watching, and they were crying, and I was just thinking, and maybe I did get a little emotional."

I waited a second before I said, "Maybe?"

"I did." He coughed. "And, unfortunately, it was seen. And documented by my friends."

I reached over, taking his hand again. "Omo."

"Exactly." He intertwined our fingers. "And of course they won't let it go, even when they changed into another outfit. They're threatening to post it everywhere, immediately, and I just want to die. And kill them. Or kill them, and then die.

I laughed. "That seems a much extreme."

"You don't know my friends," he said. "We've been mocking each other since we were in diapers. It's like an art form. I'm never going to live this down."

"So what did you do?"

We have this thing called striking a deal," he said, rubbing his free hand over his face. "Like an exchange program for embarrassment. You pick one to delete the other. I was willing to do just anything."

"Obviously."

"So," he continued, "I agreed to have AOA's song as my ringtone until graduation. And if anyone talks about it - and of course, they do - I have to tell them I'm her number one fan and show this picture."

With that, he turned on his phone again, typing in a passcode. A few swipes and there it was: Jongsuk, in an AOA T-shirt, standing with the AOA members.

"And this is better than the world knowing you cried at their song?" I clarified.

"Of course it is!" he said. "This way I just look quirky. With the tears, possibly mentally unstable."

"You sure about that?" I asked, looking at the picture again.

He made a face. "Anyway, the deal is this: if I ever don't answer by saying I'm a big fan and showing the picture and they hear about it, they'll post the video and kill me with shame. We shook on it."

I raised my brows. "And these are your friends?"

He swiped to the next picture, of all of them around AOA. "My best friends. Believe it or not."

"I believe it," I said, leaning against him as he moved to another picture of their group, this time in the limo. All cute boys, clean-cut and smiling. Gayeon would've been in heaven. "But I have a question."

"They smelled great," he said. "Everyone asks that."

"Not my question," I replied.

"Oh. Sorry."

"The deal is you have to say you love AOA and show the picture when people ask about the ringtone, correct?"

"Yup. Until graduation."

"But when I asked," I continued, "you told me the whole story. Why?"

He put the basketful of muffins down and turned to face me, now wrapping both of his hands around mine. "Su. I'm pretty much having the best night of my life. Why would I tell you anything but the truth?"

I felt my face flushed, hearing this. It wasn't the only one who felt this night was special, although I'd turn over these things again and again later, remembering. Instead, it was this last question, the inverse of how I knew I felt about everyone else in the world. For safety's sake, we learned to be less honest at the beginnings of things, not more. But Jongsuk was different. With him and me, it was always about the truth. Why would I tell you anything but? It was the closest thing to "I love you" a boy had ever said to me. Maybe it meant even more.