Project 'C'.

Chapter 11

"God! NO!" Sam protested.

"This is no different to that, he is the same Mr. Callen he was a week ago, before all of this, he is still your partner and your friend."

Sam nodded as usual she was right, now he hoped he could convince Callen of that fact.

Callen opened his eyes slowly, his head hurt, in fact everything hurt…and his chest was killing him.

"Was I shot?" he asked hoping someone would be in the room, He looked about for Sam, but there was no sign of him. Maybe he was in Russia…he looked around, the room looked familiar. But he couldn't see anyone.

He was on a bed, not a gurney and he had a blanket over him, he tried to move but his limbs they ached too much, had he been drugged?

He tried to sit up and groaned as a head popped around the corner, "Mr. Callen?"

"Yeah?" he groaned.

"Your doctor will be back in, in a moment. He is consulting with our doctor Morales about your echo cardiogram."

"My what?" Callen looked confused.

"You had an irregular heartbeat and hypothermia." The nurse said walking into the room and checking his vitals.

"I did?" Callen looked around to see if there was anyone he knew, "Where am I?" he asked.

"Cedars-Sinai medical center, you were in the hold of a plane bound for Russia and it was turned back and you were barely responsive when you were found." She told him smiling sweetly.

"Where is everybody?" he asked a knot of worry forming in his gut.

"I think they are with the other man, Deeks? He's come out of his surgery and I heard them say he was asking for your boss, the small woman?" she asked not sure.

Callen gave a small grin, "Hetty, yeah…that's right, it's ok, they need to be with him. He doesn't have any family." The nurse nodded and turned to go, "I'll let the doctor know you're awake."

"Wait?!" Callen grasped her hand and then let go as if burned, "I'm sorry, but…Jessica Hurst? She had some trouble with her baby, can you find out about her for me…Please?" he pleaded, with the room shielded he couldn't access the hospital mainframe.

"I'll just be a second," she said and popped out.

Nancy the nurse walked over to her station and put the name into the computer, Jessica Hurd…aged 28, died post natal complications, baby a boy stillborn. "Oh my God, the poor woman…" she looked sad for a moment and went to give Mr. Callen the awful news.

She knocked on the door and walked in, "Mr. Callen?"

"Yeah, did you find her? Is she ok?" he asked trying to lift himself up.

She helped him up and looked at him square in the eye, "I'm sorry, your friend Jessica, there was some complications, she and the baby died, I'm sorry again, were you close?" she asked as she saw his eyes well up.

"We were…thank you…" Callen said realizing now why he was alone.

"I'm sorry again sir," she said and went on her rounds.

Callen lay on his side and cried while there was no one there; he'd killed Emma, the woman whom he thought of as his mom, and his 'sister' Jessie and his soon to be nephew. It explained the flashes of pain he remembered, being strapped to a table and Daniel looking over him while his brain felt like it was on fire. He had failed, they had looked after him, and they had given him a home and a place to run to when as a child life got too much. And he had caused them to die!

He had a respite from the pain now, but soon the doctor would be back and the pain would start again. Even his team thought he was responsible, Sam never would have left…but Sam knew now, maybe Stannislav was right, he was a freak, maybe his team thought he was a freak.

He lay too tired to run and stared up at the ceiling feeling helpless and alone, a feeling he remembered well and hated.

He did what he needed to do, before the doctor came in and they caused him more pain he would retreat behind the walls in his head, keep his mind safe, while they hurt his body and only when it was safe would he come out. Hopefully by then he'd have regained the use of his arms and legs and could go somewhere safe.

Only there was nowhere safe anymore, the two places he trusted the most were lost to him, Emma was dead and Daniel would never want him back. And Sam? Sam wouldn't want him, he'd gotten Deeks hurt, he'd failed to protect the people in his care, he was a failure. If Sam cared he'd be there not with Deeks.

With a sigh Callen lay back and focused on the ceiling as he started building his walls, as he did so he mentally ran down the list of fall back jobs he could go to. With the chip that he now knew resided in his head, that list was rapidly decreasing.

"Hell," he said aloud to the empty room, "I could always be a fry cook!"

He closed his eyes already exhausted with that small amount of effort and dreamed of being a fry cook making double double burgers a different name and a different life in a small Oceanside diner then a small smile crossed his face.