prince etiquette ~ phan

one; dan makes a stupid decision

dan

the entire fucking fiasco started as a stupid dare.

"okay, but you can't deny that he's hot," louise continued,  spreading her feet languidly over my desk, where I was working on a new suit for the king. i threw them off disdainfully.

"well, no fucking duh." the prince was the finest snack in the kingdom. that hardly changed anything.

"so you're not denying that you would enjoy it, if it did happen?" louise had taken to discussing ridiculous hypothetical situations when she was bored. it was quite annoying. i tell her so.

"hypothetical or not, it'd be fun! and easy," she winked, "you could probably get into his pants by the end of the month, if you tried."

"nice try. first of all, he's straight as jack's beanstalk. secondly, he's the prince. i've been working at the castle for almost four years now, and he's hardly noticed me; and that's not even mentioning the king's homophobia."

"oh please. the guy's almost twenty, and he's never even courted any princess!"

I poked my finger with the knitting needle and winced. "he's sure to meet one at the ball. this conversation is pointless."

louise pauses, before her eyes glint mischievously. "daniel howell, if you manage to get laid by prince phillip, i'll give you extra blueberry scones from the bakery for a year!"

and that's the day i sold my soul for some blueberry scones.

a/n: i literally have no idea what i'm doing either bear w me