Six of Crows/Crooked Kingdom Imagines

Still Here (Nina Zenik x Matthias Helvar)

     Nina shifted as the sunlight reached her eyes. She blinked away grogginess and sat up, her slip sliding down her shoulder. She peered at  her clock and rose to prepare for the day. She looked back at her bed the empty stop next to where she was just resting. She tried to laugh to herself. No way Matthias would ever fit there. The laugh she tried to muster fell as she realized she was alone, there was no Matthias to hear her laugh. There was no one in fact.

     She pulled on a dull colored dress with sleeves that reached her elbows. As she reached into her closet for a pair of stockings her hand brushed the kefta she had once worn. After the breakout, Nina had first gone to Os Alta, she had joined the Second Army to try and find out what had she become after parem. She found no answers she wanted so in time she deserted. Nina had committed treason but she lived a quiet life in Arkesk, near the border of Fjerda and Ravka. She lived as a simple seamstress, selling her creations and living off her subsistence farming. She found comfort in making things. Much better than living with the things she had destroyed. 

     She entered her kitchen starting her meek breakfast. Bread from the local market and tomatoes from her farm. She pulled a kitchen knife from her drawer and began slicing the tomato into rounds. After filling the void in her heart with a small boring breakfast she went to open her curtains. The family that lived close to her were a man named Hugo and his wife, Anna. They had a daughter, about five years old named Vera. Hugo was Fjerdan and Anna was Ravkan. A love story Nina and Matthias were supposed to live. 

     Nina watched as Vera bolted out of the door, a smile as bright has the sun on her face. Hugo ran after her making silly monster noises as Anna laughed. Vera was swooped up into Hugo's arms as he pretended to eat her. Vera giggled madly and Hugo set her down, so she could continue to play. Nina held her breath, watching the couple. She bit back painful tears and pulled the curtain closed. She heard a pained yelp and yanked the curtains open once more, Vera had fallen. Her knee was scraped and bloody. Tears spilled from her blue eyes as Hugo lifted her into his arms, Anna consoling her crying daughter.

     In a rush of piety and the need to take her mind off things, Nina decided to make Vera something to brighten her mood. She opened the cabinet pulling out pickled plums and sugar. She pulled out her knife and wiped it clean from the tomato residue. She lowered her head as she felt his presence. 

     "Leave me please." She spoke barely above a whisper. 

     His hand touched her shoulder and her breath hitched. She turned her head. Matthias' rough features filled her eyes. The gentle wave of his blond hair, his brilliant blue eyes were the sky for Nina. He placed his head in the crook of her neck. 

     "You aren't real." She whispered, her eyes closed tight.

     'Real enough.' She told herself.

     She gripped the knife harder. 

     "Please," She pleaded. "Please don't do this to me."

     Memories of him flooded her. The shipwreck, the escape from Hellgate. Ice Court. 

     The last time he spoke her name. The last time his mouth breathed her name. It wasn't him, not really. It was Nina's sadness building inside of her preparing to burst. She wanted him to speak her name, once more. As if the ghost of Matthias read her mind he spoke. His voice echoed in her ears. Tears spilled over, staining her cheeks.

     "Nina." He spoke the husk of his voice floated over Nina and settled like snow. 

     She let out an ugly cry and bowed her head, shoulders quaking with sadness. The tears were unstoppable, spilling onto the pickled plums she had started cutting. The feelings cut through her with the force of a hurricane as she let out a stifled sob. 

     "I love you." Nina sniffed. "Saints, Matthias I love you. I miss you and I wish you were here to hold me and not understand sarcasm and let me shower you with kisses that make you blush the sweetest red. "

     She placed a hand where Matthias' hand once was.

     "I wish you were still here."