Beyond Lords

Chapter 1: How it all started

Ten years old, my parents knew by the time I was ten years old that something was not quite right with me. I never quite understood why to be honest, I thought that I had behaved like any other child in my class but so happened to take an interest in the macabre. Looking back on it however many years later, I realise that perhaps that wasn't quite "normal". Despite all of that I was still an average child. I came from a loving household, there was always food on the table and a stable roof over our heads. My brother and I never complained and always behaved well, never daring to venture out from the strict rules our parents had set out; Maybe those strict rules was our downfall.

I recall Harrison, my gracious older brother, coming home one day with something new...something that my parents feared us getting ahold of. He showed me it late at night, my little reading torch in hand under the blanket fort we had constructed that same evening, and was absolutely enthralled by it. I had never felt such fascination in my life and ever since a growing hunger for more, to chase that high had grown insatiably until finally, it fizzled out. Like a candle with no wick, the flame that fed my love of the abnormal flickered until it was glowing embers in the depths of my heart. I grew up happily, never testing boundaries, never acting out of turn, consistently studying hard and doing the upmost best to keep my parents happy. Harrison, on the other hand, fanned the flame of curiosity the moment the match was struck. He actively ran after that high like a moth to a flame and by the time I reached the end of high-school...he disappeared, and I never knew why. His disappearance fucked with my brain (that's the first time I have ever acknowledged it) and before I knew it I was going from solid A's to F's and eventually I just dropped out of school without telling my parents. Their precious daughter had fallen off the wagon, they didn't even try to get me therapy nor did they even talk to me; they were ashamed that one child had "gone wrong" and even further disgraced that their only child, the last child they had, had supposedly destroyed their prospects in a great career all because of one fuck up. I never believed that though, I believed that Harrison was right to do what he did, and yet when I tried to do the same as him I only crashed and burned.

So where does that leave me now? Well...July 29th 2002, I was walking home from my minimum wage 9-5 job (I didn't have enough money to go anywhere where I could be paid better despite my lack of school qualifications) when I noticed a man of a similar body build to me standing outside the apartment complex. It wasn't uncommon for the residents to hang out by the door and smoke, so initially I thought nothing of it. Something about him though screamed 'DANGER', and as you know I have an attraction to danger. So I hung around a bit, fumbling to find my keys in my pocket, when I finally caught his eye. No words were exchanged, and yet a whole paragraph seemed to be spoken through eye-contact alone! Naturally I gravitated towards him even more. "Can I help you?" I asked, but he didn't respond immediately like I would have hoped. I mean, we've been staring at each other for how long? Nonetheless, I sighed and opened the door to the apartment complex and started to trudge up the stairs. Oddly enough, there was another pair of footsteps not that long behind me; instinctively I held my keys between my fingers and briefly glanced over my shoulder. It was that guy again! Analysing his features, that face was definitely not his own. He must have gone to great lengths to look the way that he did, and those scarlet eyes of his were far from natural. You see someone like that, of course you get curious about them. "Did you lose your keys?" I asked, in another attempt to make conversation, to which he shook his head and continued to climb the stairs alongside me. The longer I was near him, the brighter those embers in my heart started to burn once more.

We split off at the next floor, and thus I knocked on the door of my neighbour. Lets call him Believe Bridesmaid (No particular reason...). He was a man in his mid forties and was extremely finicky about being neat and well-kept, despite this we met every week for coffee in his apartment. I owe a lot to Believe Bridesmaid, he helped me even get this apartment in the first place by convincing the landlord to lower the rent rate for my special case - the landlord was very much against this, calling me names like 'Lazy' and the such (I call it undiagnosed trauma but whatever). The mysterious individual walked a little further down the hall while I waited for Believe to answer the door, I kept my gaze on him in the meantime. His movements were slow and seemingly calculated, like an act he was trying to upkeep, but judging by his leg that would bounce any time he stopped to check his surroundings I'd say he'd rather be more hyperactive.

"Lower Lords! My dear, how are you?" Believe asked. I could see the stress-lines surrounding his face, most likely from another rejection. He's a freelance writer and certainly overly critical of his work. I gave him a dazzling smile and responded with the usual "I'm doing well Believe, how are you?" and he then invited me inside. A couple hours later, I said my goodbyes and went back to my own apartment.

Shutting the door behind me, I locked the door only to be pushed against the door with a cool blade against my neck. Glancing up, it was those scarlet eyes once again staring back at my own blue ones and those flames of danger and curiosity fanned to a raging fire. Perhaps this one time, I would actually chase that flame just like my big brother.