SMB3: Sexy, Crazy Bitch

Chapter One

"Bitch, sabi ko sayo wag kang haharang-harang sa dinadaanan ko." I said to the stupid girl who's now on the floor. Paano kasi, she is so tanga. Alam nang dadaan ako eh, humarang pa. Ayan, nabangga ko tuloy siya. She's so weak, kahit simpleng pagbangga ko lang, napa-upo na siya sa sahig? Argh. So annoying and pabebe naman. At dahil nairita ako lalo, tinaasan ko siya ng isang kilay. "What? Are you just going to sit there? Get up and get out of my way." I said as bitchy as I can.

Makailang minuto pa siyang natulala sa akin bago siya tumayo. "S-Sorry po." She said before running away. I cant help but roll my eyes. Tss. Stupid girl.

"You are such a bitch, Jean." Komento ng haliparot kong best friend na kasabay ko ngayong maglakad. We are actually on our way to the parking lot dahil our class just ended.

I made-irap my eyes at her. "So? She deserved it. Alam nang dadaan ako eh, she made harang-harang pa. Ayan, nabangga ko tuloy siya. And look! She ruined my shoes! Aww, my baby. That bitch! Doesn't she know na this is more expensive than her life?!" I irritatedly said while looking at my shoes. Argh! This was so expensive tapos tatapakan niya lang? May dirt na! Argh, ayoko na itong suotin ulit. Sayang, this is my favorite pa naman. Mabuti nalang, I'm so mabait. Hindi ko na pinabayaran sa kanya itong shoes ko dahil baka abutin pa siya ng lifetime kung nagkataon.

"Ewan ko sayo. Here's my car. Ano? Una na ako?" She said while opening her car.

"Yeah, take care bitch. I'll just wait for my driver." I bid her goodbye.

Once her car was out of sight, I looked at my wrist watch. Ten minutes nang late si Kaloy! Argh. Where is he na ba? He's so tagal, I'm getting annoyed na.

After fifteen boring minutes, finally dumating din si Kuya. Hayst. "What took you so long? Didn't you know that I've been waiting here for almost an hour already? Gosh! Kung makapag-pahintay ka, kala mo gwapo ka!" I exclaimed and the stupid guy just laughed. Am I funny ba?

"Jean, hindi mo ba alam yung salitang traffic? As in t-r-a-f-f-i-c. Traffic! At saka wag mo nga akong artehan! Anong 'almost an hour' pinagsasabi mo dyan eh wala pa nga akong 30 minutes na late." He said, air quoting my words at talagang ginaya niya pa ang boses ko! Talipandas na to.

Punyetang to. Inirapan ko nga saka ako padabog ba pumasok sa kotse. Kung hindi ko lang kababata tong talipandas na to, baka nabatukan ko na. He's so annoying! "Stop calling me by my name nga! I'm your amo, you should call me Ma'am!" I said once he was already in the driver's seat.

He started driving home while singing which annoys the hell out of me. "Pwede bang wag ka nang kumanta? You're ruining my eardrums kaya!" Iritado kong sigaw.

"Bakit ba taglish ka magsalita? Hindi ba pwedeng kung English, English lang at kung tagalog, tagalog lang talaga? Bakit kaylangan mong pagsamahin?" He asked ignoring me.

"You know naman na I grew up in America diba? My first language is English and lately ko lang naman natutunan ang Tagalog, so I'm not sanay yet." I truthfully said.

Ilang taon kaya akong nabuhay sa America. 18 years old na ako nang umuwi ako dito sa Pilipinas para dito mag-college. Duh? 22 palang ako! 4 years palang ako dito, do they think na matututo ako mag-tagalog ng ganun kabilis? Buti sana kung may nagtuturo sa akin, eh kaso wala! They told me kasi na gusto daw nila akong matuto on my own.

Actually, kaya ko naman kaso hindi ko napipigilan dahil masyado akong sanay sa English kaya Tag-Lish ako magsalita. So what naman diba? Ano bang big deal sa language?

"Try mo kaya mag-practice noh?" Sarkastiko niya pang sabi habang nipa-park niya yung car sa tapat ng house namin.

I made irap at him. "I don't have to. I'm happy with the way I speak. At isa pa, you know naman how slang my accent diba?" I said and went out of the car. Like really, ano bang masama sa pananalita ko? Duh. At least madami akong alam na languages.

Naputol ang iniisip ko nang makita ang kotse nila mommy and daddy sa tapat ng bahay. Like? They're here? How come? They are always out of the country kaya. And right now they are supposed to be in Europe

"Um, mom and dad is here?" I asked Kaloy. My driver, yeah. Weird ng name niya diba? But that's not my concern. Ang concern ko is kung bakit andito si mom and dad. They're not supposed to be home unil next week. Why are they here?

"Malamang, andyan yung sasakyan diba?" Pabalang na sagot nitong hinayupak na to.

I rolled my eyes at him bago pumasok sa bahay. And truth to be told, andito nga sila. Nadatnan ko pa silang nag-aaway sa sala. Well, nothing's new. Palagi naman talaga silang magkaaway to the point na naghiwalay na sila. Kaya lang naman sila nagsasama kahit kinamumuhian na nila ang isat-isa ay dahil sa business.

"Mom, Dad? You're home." I greeted them with a kiss on their cheeks.

"Uh, yes anak. May mahalaga kasi kaming sasabihin sa iyo." Mom said and gave Dad a knowing look.

"We have to talk about something." Dad said in a serious tone.

Ok, what's happening? I'm nervous. Never pa naging seryoso si Dad. As in never! Mas marami pa yata ang bilang ng exes ko kesa sa times na nagseryoso siya.

"Ok, I'll just change my clothes." I said before leaving them.

I went to my room and changed clothes before coming back into the living room. "So what do you want to talk about?" I asked while sitting on the couch na kaharap nila. Gosh, nakakakaba. Ano kaya iyon? Why is it so important na kinailangan pa nilang umuwi from their business trip?

"Well you see... We kind of arranged something for you when you were a kid and then... When Eduardo died, we thought that the arrangement was over so hindi na namin sinabi sayo and now..." Mom stopped and looked at Dad before speaking again. "Well... Nalaman namin na tuloy pa rin pala yung arrangement na yun... So..." She stopped again, as if trying to look for words.

I'm feeling nervous. Bakit pakiramdam ko, this ain't good? "And? What exactly is that arrangement?" I nervously asked. Kasi naman, magsasabi nalang hindi pa ituloy-tuloy. Kaylangan may cliffhanger effect pa eh. Echusera din tong mommy ko eh.

"Arrange marriage." Dad answered to which I stood up with a loud gasp.

"What?!" I exclaimed. What the hell? Me? Why?!