My Thoughts And Experiences

Him

My eating disorder was getting better I was eating healthy and everything was fine.

But then I met him he was amazing. I fell in love with him as soon as I saw him across the gym. He led me on he smiled and would say that I was pretty.

That all changed when he rejected me my whole world collapsed. Soon after he got a girlfriend. She was pretty tan skin, a nice conplection, nice figure. But was stood out was that she skinny.

I started to compare myself to her. I looked in the mirror and saw fat everywhere. On my thighs, my stomach, arms, face, and legs. I couldn't stand myself. So I stopped eating.

I told myself that once I fixed myself I he would return. I needed to get rid of all the errors all the fat. So I stopped eating.

It started with those three words. "I'm not hungry." I would recite those three words over and over until I believed them.

I would gag when ever I ate. When ever it was time for dinner I would avoid it my falling asleep or saying that I ate too much at school and that I wasn't hungry.

It always works I only eat when I am upset or if I feel like I am about to faint. But I only eat something small not a whole meal. If I did I would gain weight.

I need to do this for him once I get rid of all the fat he'll love me. It has always been for him, because I love him.