Why?

Confusion.

Walking through the streets that I know so well, I fall. As I sit in the embarrassment, knowing that no-one cares or knows that I fell, I ponder what the point is. What is the point of going places and what is the point of love? I get up and I remember how it happened. Jamie told me she didn't trust me hanging out with friends who are girls. She broke up with me. I was kind of happy. I only went out with her as a dare. I felt bad because I knew she didn't really have a lot of friends or people who found her attractive at all. Not that anyone finds me attractive, but, you know. I walk into the hellhole that is Higgbe Middle School. I am greeted by my friend, Justin, in his Star Wars Boba Fett hoodie. "Hey." I don't respond. He walks away with a face of confusion after asking if I'm okay for almost a minute. That was the day I didn't talk to any of my friends at school. Vacation is soon. Christmas is near and it's cold as hell. It's a Thursday. I walk in and sit at a table. My usual group of friends join me but no-one talks to me. I'm okay with that. When the time comes to go to class, I get up and start walking. I walk into the classroom and Mr. Farse asks me to come over to his desk. He tells me about a program the school has where you stay after school to do work that you haven't done. I take the slip that he hands me and walk to my desk. The day goes by pretty slowly. When I get home, I see that I have been added to a Google Hangouts group chat. I open it and see that a call is in progress, and join it. There are four other people in the call. Justin, Emerson, Mia, and a girl named Sarah. I haven't really ever talked to Sarah before that night but I knew of her.