Sarah's Roses, Book I: Roses of Blue

Chapters XXII and XXIII

“Denying me the right to go to college just because I’m of a different skin color,” Sammy spoke with disgust, “if you look at it, they are honestly denying me the right to be a human being. I’ve got rights too. It’s not my fault that others fail to recognize them.”

“Nobody ever said it was your fault, Sammy.”

He gave a sigh as he tried to control his emotions. “I want to be like other people, Sarah,” he said at last, “I want to be able to go where I please and be my own master. I hate being a thing, something you can buy or sell, something you can trade. I wouldn’t be surprised if you could just go to thepawnbroker and pawn me away like a piece of jewelry or something. God made me a free man, and then men turned me into a slave and it is not fair. Do you know the one thing that sets me apart, it’s the color of my skin. Had I white skin, everything would have been completely different. Am I to blame that God saw fit that I should be born black? And is God to blame that He likes variety in color? What is it in the white people that makes them think they are superior?”

I wished I had the answers to his questions, but I was just as stumped at them as he was. These were the sort of questions that I often asked myself, along with a multitude of others.

“Give me liberty, or give me death,” He quoted Patrick Henry’s famous speech. “You have no idea how true those words are. This country was founded on the idea that freedom was a human right and yet that is the right they constantly deny me. If I only could, I would fight for the freedom of the slaves till every drop of blood was drained from me. I would give my life just to bring at least some justice to this earth. I have a goal, Sarah, a wish, a dream, and that is to fight for liberty, fight no matter what the cost. I won’t stop till the day comes when I can walk up to your Uncle, look him in the eye, man to man, equal to equal and ask him for your hand in marriage. You, Sarah,” his voice became tender, “you are my true definition of freedom. If I could be allowed to have you, openly, legally, with no shame or scandal about it, then I would know that I am truly a free man.”

Those bright eyes shone at me with a passion, with a fire that he kept burning within him at all times. How could I not love him? He was so idealistic, so full of justice, so full of everything that was good and true! The imperfection, the cruelty, the injustice of this world was a never ending thorn in his side, something he just couldn’t cope with. And yet, at the same time, I felt sorry for him, I felt he was hoping and dreaming for something that could never be. Or, even if it could be, it would take forever for it to come about.

“Well, maybe to comfort you, allow me to point out that anything connected with me would be scandalous.”

“What do you mean?” He propped himself up on one elbow.

“I mean that my whole birth is scandalous. The scandal began even before I was conceived! My mother was a scandal to start with. I asked Uncle Andrew if Henry has spoken the truth when he said that my mother and been engaged to Mr. Earl. Uncle replied that no, they never were officially engaged because Mama ran away the night of the engagement. This is what Prissy was talking about when she said Mama put the name into local gossip. Honestly, Sammy, I can’t help but feel that everything would be so much easier if I had never been born.”

“Don’t we sound like our aunt talking again?” Sammy rolled his eyes, obviously annoyed. “Sarah, I don't understnad how can you even listen to her and take everything she says so seriously. If you had never been born, I would have never met you. Just think of the terrible void in my soul that would be created if you had never been born.”

“You couldn’t have missed something that never was,” I argued.

“Could too. There is an empty spot here that only the innocence and gentleness of your heart can fill. God had a reason with giving you life. Even if the circumstances were less than perfect. What your parents did is none of your concern and contrary to what the Mrs. says, you don’t have to partake in the blame or the punishment for their sin. That is between them and their Maker, you have nothing to do with it.”