I couldn't turn to face him, couldn't look at his face to see if he was even listening as I clutched the front of my windbreaker, the material over my heart twisting in my fist. He hadn't responded, silence pervading the night and to fill it I continued speaking.
"Last week Lou didn't follow the rules. He left the house without me. A friend, he said, no need for me. I was in the shower at the time and I called out for him to wait and I ran to get there but it was too late it was too fucking late..."
The gravel crunched under his feet as he walked towards me, and I was scared I was too scared to let him touch me, too scared to let someone reach through my body to the terrified child within. I sprang up the stairs, shoving my key into the lock and wrenching it open as soon as the mechanism clicked. Darkness greeted me, and I flicked on the light to see how Lou had last left my Daffy Duck toy, sitting at the booth table with an empty plate in front of it, it's arms placed to look like they held the knife and fork on the tabletop. Vision blurred with welling tears, I closed my eyes against the sight.
Stumbling back out, panic a live wire within my bruised throat, I turned to look at the blue haired boy who stood tentatively at the bottom of the steps, black eyes full of concern.
"He's still gone," was all I could choke out past the thick lump blocking my windpipe, eyes stinging as large salty tears began to spill down my cheeks. They cooled as they fell, drying cold against my lips as 2D stepped forward to catch me in his arms.
He held me closer than made sense, our bodies aligning like two lost fragments finally fitting back together. I sobbed, feeling like a child missing their parent and in a way I was and the realisation left me gasping for air against the warmth of his chest. His hands moved to hold me closer, one pressed against the small of my back whilst the other caught the base of my skull, fingers running through thick dark hair to press my face hard to him. I realised I was saying words, the same words over and over; "I'm scared Stu I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared."
"I know, love, I know," he breathed, stroking my hair whilst my tears soaked into his shirt. The bourbon on his breath was intoxicating, the scent of citrus and sweat across his skin leaving me breathless. I clutched to him like an answer to a question I'd always been afraid to ask and the need in me was terrifying.
"I don't want to be alone in there," I whispered, mouth dry and clicking with anxiety. The words were muffled into his collarbone but I knew he heard them from the way his heart began to beat fast against my cheek, his breath catching.
"You don't have ta be then," he murmured, tucking me against his chest as he walked me back up the steps and into the caravan.
2D laughed softly as he took in the Daffy Duck set up, guiding me over to the rumpled mess of my bed across from the all too empty bench seat where Lou should have been.
Letting go of me momentarily, he remade the bed, smoothing out the sheets and neatly folding them back before taking me by the hand. He ignored the way it trembled in his own as he guided me over to the mattress, waiting patiently until I'd lain down before tucking the blankets in around me.
"S'that awright?" He asked once he'd finished, pale face hovering inches from mine as he remained leaning over me. Lips parted slightly, the very tip of his tongue only just visible as he waited for my answer, but I was caught up in how close his mouth was to mine.
Up close I could see the short spikes of stubble above his top lip and across his pointy chin, a dark almost black brown like his thick eyebrows as opposed to the bright blue of his hair. My hands itched to reach out and pull him closer, to use the pads of my thumbs to trace the patchy scruffs of hair.
Don't you dare, Sloane McLeod.
"Why did you choose to dye your hair blue?" I blurted instead, half relieved and half disappointed when he pulled back from my outburst, brows drawing together in a confused frown.
YOU ARE READING
The Trapeze Swinger
Fanfiction"Him. 2D. I could see him even now, his goofy grin while holding the water gun like a hunting rifle, lining me down the sight. His hands ruffling my hair, one eye closed in a squint as if sizing me up, as if looking into the sun." The year is 2003...
