Two Dorks (JeffMads)

Chapter 1- Don't Touch The Fuckin' Priceless Merchandise

James Madison never really liked socializing. It wasn't that he didn't like people, it's just that he had a hard time trusting them. If he can't look you in the eye, then you know he doesn't trust you. You'd be lucky enough to have him look in your direction. 

Thomas Jefferson loved socializing. He was born with a quick wit attitude, and floofy hair. Yes, his floofy hair is the best. He can spark a conversation with anyone, but if you just so happen to say the wrong thing, he'll completely shut you out of his life. 

James Madison, and Thomas Jefferson are very close boyfriends. Closer than peanut butter, and jelly. You'd be commiting suicide if you were to seperate them. It's best to leave them alone, otherwise you'd have your arm ripped off. 

It is currently 1:45. Thomas is asleep. James is typing on his computer. 

James found the sound of the keys soothing. Thomas found it annoying. 

Thomas turned around in his bed, facing James. "So..." Thomas started. "Before you say anything; yes, I am working on a paper. No, I am not watching porn." James said. 

Thomas smirked. "Wow. So quick to state the facts." he said. 

"It's not my fault I'm better than you."

"If only you had your quick-witted mind when people judge."

"You're right, although that doesn't mean I don't say things in my mind. Unlike you, I was taught to be polite."

Thomas latched himself onto James' waist. "So mean." he muttered. James swatted Thomas' hands away. "Hands off. I'm priceless."

Thomas placed his hands on James' face. "I'm touching the merchandise." he stated with a chuckle. James pushed him off. He closed his laptop, and put it on the floor, near the bed.

"That is illegal, I am calling the police." he said. James grabbed his phone from the dresser, and dialed a number. Thomas panicked.

"James no, baby, please." Thomas begged. James' phone rang, then someone on the other line answered. "Yes, police, I would like to file a complaint on my boyfriend. Yes, his name is Thomas Jefferson. He touched the priceless merchandise, come get him." James hung up the phone, then sat on the floor. 

"Jemmy?" Thomas said, poking James on the cheek. James didn't respond. Suddenly, the door of their bedroom swung open. 

Aaron Burr stood at the door with a water gun in his hand. "gET FUCKED, BITCH!" he screeched, then squirted Thomas with the water gun. 

Thomas gasped, then ran to the mirror. "My locks!" he whined, touching his now flattened hair. He looked over at Aaron. "You're fucked, whore." he said. Thomas launched himself at Aaron.

Aaron screamed, and went tumbling into the wall. "Ow!" he yelped when the back of his head hit the wall. "Wait no! Mercy! Mercy!" he yelled. Thomas took the water gun from his hands, and squirted him the face. "GOOD SHIT!" Aaron yelled. 

Thomas got off off Aaron, and went back into the bedroom. James was still sitting on the floor. His smile dropped when he saw the water gun in Thomas' hands. "Wait, no." he said, backing into the closet door. Thomas smirked, then squirted James in the face. James squealed.

"Don't fuck with me! I have the power of God and Anime on my side!" Thomas yelled.

Aaron got up, and ran out through the front door. Thomas looked down at his now soaked boyfriend. "So..." he started.

"No sex for a week." James replied, bitterly.