Today 6/5/12, I went to youth group (yes I am a Christian) and our lesson was Trust. It wasn't til then did I realize that I have lost most of my faith in God. He has always been in my life and He was not always easy to pray to but I did and liked to do so often. However, recently I have been drifting from him and to tell you the truth I am kinda scared. What if I have lost all of my faith?
Despite my mom's encouraging words I can not help but wonder, will God and I rebond again? Or will it be lost forever?
I am a lost soul, the hardest thing for me right now is getting over my fears. No matter how hard I try they always get in the way! I try to have fun one of my phobias comes out and all I do is sit alone in a corner. Or I am asked or told something and I snap! I hate it it makes me feel cold and cruel when all I really want is to be helpful and to be helped.
What would you do if you couldn't cry no matter how hard you tried, or you wanted someone to ask you what was wrong and they did but you reply nothing when you wanted to tell the truth? Maybe you thought you had faith in God or someone and find out you really didn't or you find out that people do care about you even though you think they don't? Or maybe you just can't seem to find your personality nor who you are or wanna be? What would you do?
Well let me tell you ; it is not fun. These things are things I face daily and no matter how hard I try I not people at school, not family, not strangers, me, I make myself fall all the time. After awhile you don't know what to do and you get use to it and then, it becomes your nature.
It is hard for me to describe this and stay on topic because so many things I have to say want to come out! Though I try my best to contain them. So I would love to hear that there are others like me in the world and would love to hear what you have to say! Even negative comments, but only the ones to me I will allow! I do not want people to be shot down because I asked them to post their heart out by some cold brute!
