The Pain Inside Of Me

This is my life,

I started with my parents always fighting,

They say I was too young to remember but thinking about it is frightening,

Both of my parents did drugs,

By 8 I knew about all the killers, rapists, and thugs.

First starting school wishing all the bullies will go away,

I already go through enough pain,

More sacrifices are being made,

Bullies making people not use their voices and instead stay back in the shade.

Wishing my brother was around,

Since 10 not being able to at least hear his voice and how he sounds,

Praying to the moon every night,

Wishing my mom and his dad wouldn’t have to fight.

I’m scared to walk through that terrifying door,

I imagine my mom sitting on the floor,

I see her putting a needle through her vein,

I wish it would all just go away.

My mom and uncle used to be heroin addicts,

I use to try and avoid any conflict,

She abandoned me on a daily basis,

When I was with them I always saw zombie faces,

I get in the car,

I look out the window wishing I could go far maybe as high as the stars,

All my feelings are mixed up like a tornado,

Same negative lyrics keep coming from the car radio,

I deal with all these thoughts throughout the day,

Thinking about all the people who like to betray their loved ones and disobey,

I wonder a lot on how they deal with all the guilt,

I think they basically sit in there own filth,

I feel like an adult trapped inside a teenagers body,

The world is full of secrets like the illuminati,

Throughout all these damages I know I need to think positive and stay above,

Even when people make me feel unloved.

This is my life story what's yours?

How do you feel when you go through another unknown door.