Part 1 (On a train for a long journey. It's quiet but busy.) [Large man gets on the train and sees there's only one space left, next to a small man who's half asleep against the window.]
Man 1: Hey, this isn't reserved is it?
Man 2: [mumbles] Hope not. [Man 1 grins and sits down, notices the stamp on his hand]
Man 1: Oh, were you just at that demonstration?
Man 2: Huh? (Train starts moving)
Man 1: Sorry, I saw the stamp on your hand. I went there too, see? [Holds up arm]
Man 2: Oh yeah. Yeah, I went, but I was starting to feel sick. People like that disgust me, in all honesty.
Man 1: I hear that!
Man 2: I don't really want to talk about it though, some of it was a bit too much. I'm just trying not to think about it.
Man 1: Fair enough, I can understand that. Well, we can talk about something else if you like.
Man 2: Oh, uh, thanks. [smiles] Like what?
Man 1: I dunno. Uh, do you watch football?
Man 2: Yeah, but I don't play. I'm a Chelsea fan.
Man 1: Ah, I liked them as a kid but I'm all for Wolves these days. Why don't you play? Don't like it?
Man 2: Well, I used to be pretty good but I don't really... well I don't go anywhere really.
Man 1: What do you mean?
Man 2: Uh, well... It doesn't matter.
Man 1: Don't be like that, do you not go out? At all?
Man 2: Not really.
Man 1: Why not?
Man 2: I... It's stupid.
Man 1: I'll be the judge of that! Spit it out!
Man 2: [sighs] I got stabbed, and after that I just can't leave the house. This is the first time in a year or so but... I don't think I'll make it a habbit.
Man 1: That's not dumb, that's pretty reasonable, but look, think of it like this: How many years were you stab free? It's not an every day thing! I bet it'll be hard but don't give up on life just yet, eh?
Man 2: [defensive] I don't really have any reason to go outside. Online shopping is a blessing, I don't have anyone to go and see and even if I did I wouldn't.
Man 1: What about work?
Man 2: I don't have a job. My parents left a lot of money in their will.
Man 1: They both died?
Man 2: Car crash, about three years ago.
Man 1: That's rough, but I doubt they wanted to see you like this.
Man 2: They're dead, it doesn't make a difference. All they wanted from me was some medical degree and they got it. Doesn't mean I have to use it. (Train stops and man 2 turns away) When's your stop?
Man 1: I get off at New Street.
Man 2: Oh... Same. (Train moves again)
Man 1: Look, I didn't mean to upset you, but hey, if you live around there then I can introduce you to my friends and stuff if you like. You seem like a cool guy, just had a bit of a rough time, you know? (Man 2 doesn't reply) Come on, even if it's just once! You heard of the Queen's Hound?
Man 2: The... the pub by that roundabout?
Man 1: That's the one. We go there every friday, a little after six. Come along this week and try it out, alright?
Man 2: It's a nice offer but honestly, I'm pretty happy the way I am.
Man 1: Doesn't seem like it to me, mate.
Man 2: Is that so?
Man 1: You look depressed, underfed and downright shitty.
Man 2: Thanks.
Man 1: I didn't mean it like that... just... Consider it?
Man 2: Uh- I... I'll consider it. Thank you. (sits up) My name's Sebastian.
Man 1: Well hello, Sebastian. My name's Derek.
Sebastian: Thanks Derek. I don't think I've ever met a person as persistant as you, but... I think I'm glad I have.
Derek: [Laughs] Well, there we go then! How bad can it be? (Train stops again) Ah, we're here. [Gets up and grabs his bags, they both leave the train together when someone barges past Sebastian, who is knocked over. His stuff falls out of his bag.][To passer by] Watch where you're going, moron! Hey, you alright?
[Sebastian looks up and freezes. Derek's t-shirt reads: 'The Solution To Gay Marriage.' Underneath are two nooses. Derek has also stopped now. Sebastian's shirt reads: 'I'm Gay, Get Over It!']
Derek and Sebastian: Oh.
