Dersaadet

Azalea part II

"Shame on you... Shame on the time my mother has spent grieving for you! Shame on you for the nights she cried and watched out of the window in a vain hope." Her feeble voice broke. "Shame on the nights and hours, I waited on the roadside for your return... My sister and grandmother may be with you now, but I will bring them back. This is our house." Gesturing to her heart she added: "This is the place where we belong to, General Cevdet. Listen to me, listen carefully: You will only carry my dead body out of this place."

Hastily Hilal left the house. In one of the narrow streets she pulled herself against a wall, trying to gain some strength. Her knees trembled just like her hands. Looking up to the sky, a single tear escaped her eyes. With unsteady steps she kept moving.

Maybe Yildiz was right, who was left? "Mother..." A whimper escaped her lips. She was all alone. Was that the price she would pay for the freedom, for the independence of her fatherland?

Not really knowing where to go, her feet brought her to the only place she felt at peace. A bitter smile appeared on her lips. She would wait for him here... the place where only Hilal, Leon and the trees existed. Her eyes closed on their own accord. No- nothing was the same anymore. This was not the time for dream or hope. In that dark cell he had been the very reason of her wish to survive. In there, she got blind to their doings, she got deaf to their sayings- as long as his vision was there, the ugliness that surrounded her was forgotten.

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"Are you sure that this is the right place, Mehmet?

The tall man fixed the cave in front of him even though he said: "The informant told me, that Dagistanli will be here, Hilal." Taking another step into the hollow, he gestured her to stay away. "Wait here, I will just check if someone is in."

Hilal nodded her head. Looking nervously around she made sure that she was alone; Mehmet disappeared from her sight eventually. The minutes passed by and Hilal felt the nervousness grew inside. Giving in to the urge the young woman followed Mehmet in to the cave.

"Mehmet?" She didn't know why she was whispering but the darkness scared her. The tall man appeared out of the blue.

"Run!" Grabbing her hand, he dragged her with him.

"Hilal, Run! What are you waiting for, run!"

Even though she didn't know what had happened Hilal tried to keep up with Mehmet. She felt the adrenalin rise in her system. Her breaths pierced the crispy air and the starting rain hurt her face. Fear grabbed her heart as she heard Mehmet say:

"It's better we divide. I will divert their attention. Run as fast as you can and don't look back!"

He gave her a little push as he turned back, staying upright like a mountain and waiting. Hilal kept on running, her lungs burned, her eyes got teary. The fear made her mind go white. As she heard a branch break, she just casted a brief glance behind. It was a Greek soldier who was chasing her. Panicking she fastened her pace and run down a hill. Not seeing the root of an old tree, she stumbled, hitting the ground. Pulling herself together Hilal crawled to a tree, seeking shelter behind the trunk. Her breaths were rapid now, the pounding of her heart filled her ears.

Looking at her hands, which were drenched in blood now, she could not stop a few tears from falling. As she heard another branch break near her hiding, she closed her eyes. But then she just regained her feet.

Being still behind the trunk she said: "If you want to kill me, then do it or else I will do it!" And with these words she left the safe harbour, facing her enemy.

"Leon?" Hilal could not move... everything seemed to be clenched to this one moment, where time was lost.

"Did you not do that already? Right here?!" The young man was pointing on his right chest.

"Right, I did." She hid her blood-drenched hands between the folds of her coat. "Now, it is your turn. You can take your revenge." Her head shot to her left as she heard the approaching soldiers shouts.

Before she knew what was happening, Leon closed the distance. "I will take my revenge of that you can be sure. But not here- not yet. Go, now!"

"It doesn't matter when or where. I am here, am I not?!"

"Don't try my patience, Hilal. Go! I will distract them."

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Hilal hated to be here once again. But the news that her grandmother had another qualm, made her swallow her own pride and stay at this very place. Sharing a room with Hasibe, she paid attention never to be seen by the others. During the last three days, she had managed not to meet him a single time. She wished she could say the same for the Greek Lady whose only concern seemed to be the Lieutenant. Fortunately, the work at the print house and hospital kept her busy during the days- yet, the nights were a nightmare.

I will take my revenge of that you can be sure... Revenge?... Two months. What had happened that he had changed in that way? Hilal sighed.

Their situation got even worse after Cevdet announced that it would be the best to marry Yildiz and Hilal off. Hilal made her position clear and strangely she never heard anything in that regard again.

Now, while her grandma was sleeping, she was sitting on a chair in front of the window, watching like an owl over the night. Her thoughts were tangled; it drove her mad that there were no answers to her questions. A tired smiled appeared on her lips as she recited the poem she read a little while ago:

It's such a little thing to weep

So short a thing to sigh;

And yet by trades the size of these

We men and women die!***

Her attention was caught by a tall frame who entered the gates. Hilal got nearer to the window to have a better look. As she realized who it was, she didn't hesitate to hide behind the curtains while observing the young man. He was walking a little unsteady, which told her that he had a drink too much. Pressing her lips in distaste, she narrowed her eyes. Her mood become gloomier as she saw Adelphia approaching him. Hilal swallowed hard as the girl helped him in to the house.

End of part II

*Edgar Allan Poe (Dream)

** my Azize; (the ending "my" expresses the connection of two souls; mostly between couples or close friends)

*** Emily Dickinson (Life's trades)