Beast taking over me~poem

Stuck between right and wrong,

The divider becoming blurrier by the day

To tell, or not to tell?

To keep it quiet, or to let it out?

Like my life is in the balance,

One wrong move will leave me gone

Lying, broken on the ground,

Unbreathing, unsmiling, unliving.

The claws of insecurity surround me

The grasp of insanity not far

The embrace of self-love has gone

Vanished, along with hope

How do I escape this constricting hold?

Do I slay it like is done in the movies,

When the dragon takes the damsel

Then is rescued by the hero?

Do I trick it like Rumplestiltskin,

Playing a game of names?

Do I run away from it and hide

And spend my life in disguise?

Or do I leave it be,

Let it’s hold drag me deeper,

Into this endless hole?

Do I let it kill me completely?

Make me a dark shadow of myself

Or maybe it’s already too late,

Maybe it’s gone too far,

It’s got me in its clutches

Maybe it won’t let go.

I guess it’s what I deserve

Don’t ask me why I think this,

There is no logical explanation,

All logic seems to be gone.

How must I do this?

Alone without help is how

Help is too far away,

This monster’s grip too strong

I have to fake my life

And hide this terrible limp

Let people think I’m fine

With this wound killing me deep inside

The life I used to lead

Without worry, without pain

I wonder when it started

This beast taking over me

Did it start out slowly?

A stalker in the street

Or did it happen suddenly?

A gunshot in the night

Whatever happened it did

It doesn’t matter how

All I know is it did,

And I have no way out