Well La Di Da (Rick and Morty x Reader)

INSECTS EVERYWHERE

"Jesus christ! Stop screaming everytime you see something bizarre to you" Rick covers your mouth with his hand. "It'll fuck things up."

The giant spider just walks away and the both of you enter the ice cream parlor Rick kept talking to you about earlier.

"Besides ugly ass spiders, this is another perk in this dimension," Rick sais, opening his arms. "Fucking delicious ice cream."

The amount of flavors available overwhelm you. It would be nice for you to have one, of course, if there aren't an insects in it. You take some money out of your pocket but Rick's already paying the cashier. You try to pay Rick back but he refuses. He orders two ice creams without any sort of insect in it. Seeing as you still don't understand why there are insects in the food he explains to you that in order for the ship to protect Summer it made some sort of treats and now telepathic spiders and humans live in peace in this dimension resulting to having spider food mixed with human food. It makes you appreciate your timeline better that the spiders don't have any sort of power and doesn't grow bigger than they should. The staff gives the both of you your ice cream and you two find a seat which is anywhere since the place is empty. One lick of the ice cream and the flavor bursts in your mouth. You enjoy it too much you don't even notice that you got some on your cheek. Rick wipes it off with his thumb and licks his thumb clean. For some reason that makes you blush. Of course, it would be considered weird for you to fall for a seventy year old alcoholic grandpa, but there's something about him that you find attractive. You conclude that it could be the fact that he's smart and he's a scientist. Smart boys are attractive, right? You laugh and cry inside at your small problem. 

"What would you think of me if I was a teenager?" Rick said, disrupting your train of thoughts that shouldn't be even there.

"Well, uh," you said, trying to keep your imagination at bay. "It'd be cool. We could be lab partners in school! Yeah! You, me, Morty, and Summer hanging out and having fun."

"Without Morty and Summer in the picture."

"Oh...Um...You'd be a good lab and um...prom...partner?"

Rick raises his unibrow at your answer. The question's so sudden you have no idea what to say to him. Of course you had no plans on telling him how there's a chance you might end up crushing on him. Someone enters the ice cream parlor. Someone...like...you. You couldn't believe your eyes. It was another you with your hair colored like that mermaid hair trend, wearing a black tank top, ripped jean shorts, combat boots and finishing it off with a dark green bomber jacket. Her hands wrapped around some kind of futuristic gun. Rick almost chokes on his ice cream.  She points the gun at the cashier and asks him for the money. The staff raises their hands and they look at you causing the other you to notice you. Oh fuck, you thought. She narrows her eyes, trying to understand why there's two of you. With her gun still pointed at the staff she comes up to you.

"Who. The. Fuck. Are. You?" she said in disgust, scanning you from head to toe.

"Who the fuck are you?" you said, copying her tone.

"I asked you first bitch."

"Bitch I asked you second."

"I'm a perfectly hot normal girl who doesn't date older men."

"What part of what you're doing makes you normal!? And we're not dating! Rick, tell her we're not dating."

Rick continues to eat his ice cream, pretending he's too busy to pay attention to the two of you. You glare at him and he lets out an exaggerated sigh.

"Hey, hoe," Rick said, just looking at his ice cream. "You have a zit on your face."

Your alternate self panics and takes out a mirror from the pocket of her shorts. While she's busy looking for nothing on her makeup caked face you take it as an opportunity to prepare your weapon, taking your trusty lazer from your jean's pocket. Your alternate self finally realizes she has no pimple on her and she takes a minute to admire herself in the mirror then she returns the mirror in her pocket. She turns to you with an enraged expression.

"You lying bitch!" she shoots at you and jump off your chair to dodge it, your ice cream falling to the floor.

Noooo, you scream in horror in your head at the sight of your precious ice cream on the floor. Now you're annoyed.

"Damn girl," you said, pointing your lazer at her. "You need a chill pill." She shoots at you again and you roll on the floor to dodge it. "Or maybe just some really good ice cream to cool you down."

She continues chasing after you around the parlor, shooting at you, and you dodge and shoot back. Your lazer melting all sorts of things while he gun turns things into nothing but fine grains of sand. Your lazer hits her gun and she lets go of it letting it turn into mush on a pile of sand that used to be a table. She lunges at you and swats the lazer off your hand. Having you pinned down she punches you right on the cheek. As much you don't want to do it as much as you have to. You pull out the chandelier earring from her ear, ripping off her lobule. She lets go off you and cries in pain, blood from her earlobes dripping on the white floor. You return the punch at her and her focus returns to you. She grabs the lazer just near her and shoots at you but she misses and ends up turning Rick's ice cream into mush. You think he deserves it at least a little for just watching instead of helping you. Rick's expression changes into one of anger.

"You bitch!" he said, standing and shoots an electric ball at your alternate self.

She flails around, electric coursing through her veins, then goes limp. 

"Holy shit! Rick, did you just fucking kill me!?" you said, disturbed to see your alternate self lying on the floor motionless.

"Relax. I just knocked her out." Rick said, rolling his eyes. "I don't feel like killing her but if you want me to I can."

"What the fuck!? No!"

"Suit yourself. We're done here."

"What? W-We're just gonna leave her here? Just like that!?" 

"Yes. Let's go. I'm done with my ice cream."

You can tell from his voice he's really irritated so you just shut up. You take your lazer and catch up with Rick. Before leaving the parlor you look over your shoulder, taking one last look of your knocked out self.

"Jeez. I don't get paid enough to deal with this shit," the cashier said, grabbing a broom.

* * * *

You and Rick arrive at the house.

"Oh, Rick, thanks for the movie and ice cream today," you said. "Even if it was weird and stuff I did have fun."

"Yeah, sure," Rick said. "You're welcome."

After all that fighting you feel tired and weak. You walk in the living room where everyone else is. Summer's on her phone, Jerry's playing that balloon popping thing on his tablet, while Beth and Morty are watching TV. Morty notices the both of you two. Seeing you tired, Morty glares at Rick and Rick glares back. Beth tells you that they went out as a family today but they couldn't find Rick in the morning so they left without him, thinking he's out doing work.

"(y/n), I-I have something to show you," Morty said, coming up to you.

"Well, if you need someone smart to talk to I'll be in the garage," Rick said, leaving. "I'll be in the - BWOAG - garage."

Morty brings you up to his room to show you what he got for you. He gets something from his desk and goes back to you. He opens his palm, revealing a silver bracelet with star shaped charms on it. You gasp at how beautiful it is.

"Oh, Morty," you said, taking it from him. "Thank you. It's so pretty."

"I-I saw it a-and thought of you and how y-you like science," Morty said, his cheeks burning.

"Aw, you're so sweet," you give him a hug that he returns. "Just what I needed after a long, crazy, and tiring day."

"Wa-Wa-Wanna watch TV?"

"Yeah, let's go," you let go of him.

You put the bracelet as you go down to the living room with Morty. He smiles proudly, seeing as how you really like his gift.