What I never knew I always wanted (Robsten story) -ON HOLD

Why Eliana?

"And hurt us in the end baby girl. Eliana, you're going away for a little while." Kristen said

"Where?"

"Upstairs. You're going to get help." Robert said

"No, I'm fine! Let me go!" She tried to sit up but was pushed back down by the restraints.

"Eliana, you are not fine!" Kristen cried. "You tried overdosing for God's sake!"

"Kristen, can I talk to you?" Rob asked. He went around the bed and led her out into the hallway.

"Breathe Kristen, let me go and talk to her. Stay here, with the both of us in there she will feel like we are ganging up on her."

"Alright, I'm going to get a coffee."

"Alright, hun."

Rob took a deep breath before heading back Into the room. He went and took Eliana's hand into his as he took a seat in the chair.

"Eliana, look at me, sweetheart."

Eliana had tears streaming down her cheeks as she slowly turned her head.

"This will get better, I know it doesn't seem like it now but it will and these people are going to help you."

"Dad, I'm never going to be alright again. This hurts so much, I can't breathe. It fucking hurts and I just want to be with him."

Rob sighed. "I know honey, but you need to continue living. It's hard but he would want you too."

"It's not fair, when am I going to feel alright again?"

"I agree, it is not fair and in time you will feel better. I can't say that I know what you are going through sweetheart but let them help you."

"Is mom mad at Me?" Eliana whispered

"No hun, it's just hard for her to see you like this. We almost lost you Eliana and you don't know what that would have done to us. You know what it's like to lose a child, don't make us go through that pain too."

"Can I talk to mom?"

"Yeah, I'll get her and give you guys some alone time. I love you, hun." Rob said as he kissed Eliana's forehead.

"I love you too dad."

Rob left the room and went in search of Kristen. He found her in the waiting room, running her fingers through her hair as she cried. Her other hand clutching a cup of coffee.

"Kris, she wants to talk to you," Rob whispered.

Kristen sniffles. "Alright, here." She handed him the cup of coffee before making her way back to the room. Trying to make it look like she had not been crying.

"Hey, mom," Eliana greeted as Kristen entered the room.

"Hey honey, how are you feeling?"

"Same. All over the place, I'm not sure."

"Eliana, I know how this feels."

"No, you don't mom."

Kristen sighed, this was something she thought she would never have to talk about again. "Eliana, what I'm about to tell you, you cannot tell your dad alright?"

"Yeah of course. Why is it?"

Tears sprang to Kristen's eyes. She hated thinking about it. "I lost a baby too" she whispered.

Eliana was speechless and confused. What?

"It was before I met your father. I was with another guy, I made it to 36 weeks. It was a what they call trauma induced labor."

"What happened?"

"I don't really wanna go into details Eliana but let's just say. He made me lose the baby."

"Oh my god mom."

"I never told your dad, it's not something I like thinking about. That's why I was scared when I was pregnant with you, I was told after the birth of my son that my body might have had too much damage and wouldn't hold a pregnancy and when we thought we were losing you, I feared the worst."

"I'm sorry mom, you don't have to tell me the details."

"It's in the past now, yes I will always miss him but I have you girls and you will always miss your son but he will always be in your heart."

"It's just hard and I don't know how to cope. He was my whole world and now I just feel like nothing matters."

"That's how I felt for the longest time. It doesn't get better Eliana, but it gets easier."

"I love you mom, I just....I feel like I cant cope."

"Let them help you, hun, just remember...I know how this feels."