THE ALTERNATE CHOICE - An ASFIYA (YKS) OS

The alternate choice

And then happiness seemed to reach its zenith when Dr.Asfandyar himself started showing interest in her... Not that she ever overtly showed her affections or even allowed it reflect on her face ever, but in her heart she was happy to know that somebody whom she held at such high standards had equal respect for her... And not to mention his lovely family who had decided that she was their missing family member and behaved so kindly with her...

But like they say all good things come to an end... and here the end came because of too much happiness... She was glad to hear him say lovely things about her but then she never thought that the next step would put her right back where she started... to a place she had run away from... To all those wretched people and wretched memories of her past... She had read in many books of the famous phrase, 'past comes haunting' and right then, she was actually living it... His mother wanted to meet her aunt for discussing their marriage! In any other circumstance, if she was some other girl, she would have danced on the rooftops singing in happiness... But the truth was harsh... She wasn't some other girl in some other circumstance... No, she was that girl who was happy at the very thought that she would never have to meet any of her relatives ever again when she had left them... So fixing a meeting with her aunt was just unimaginable! And thus, even while her heart broke into million pieces, she had to put an end to it... She was living in a palace of lies... She couldn't afford to make a home in there... That false palace could only bear the weight of one person and that was  just her, all alone and lonely...cursed to live in her palace of lies with no one but her sorrows for company till the very end...

So after making that painful decision, she had gone straight to him and told a few more lies... It broke her heart to see his heart breaking right in front of her eyes and she realised she was still that same coward who had stood helplessly as her father killed her mother... She was too coward to save her then and she was too coward to save herself and him now... May be once a coward, always a coward...? Maybe that was how it worked...? And maybe it was all for good ?Because she was now doubly sure that the good doctor didn't deserve a cowardly girl like her... He needed someone who would stand like a rock beside him and go hand in hand with him as they jump over the hurdles in their life... Maybe it really was all just too good for her... Maybe it was all just her wishful thinking...

She then had to struggle a lot again but finally it seemed she had made peace with her broken heart. And even though it still hurt to see his forlorn face, she was at peace thinking it was all for good, especially after noting that his behaviour towards her, the one who broke his heart mercilessly was still as professional and as considerate as it had always been... She knew he surely deserved someone better...someone who had their feet firmly on the floor and not on a pile of lies...

Till today morning, she had thought that her world was back to normal... sad and lonely, yes but back to being purposeful... That's all she hoped in these past days... to have a purpose in life and to have the strength to fulfil it... She wanted to make a positive change in the village...she wanted to educate those kids who if left unchecked would grow up into innocent and vulnerable girls like Khajistha's and murderous boys like her husband... But fate always liked to write a plan which was completely opposite to hers... So there in front of her was standing her worst nightmare that morning... The very reason she had broken her beloved Asfi's heart was to maintain the stability of her lie palace and there in front of her was the one person she had been trying to avoid all this time... her brother! He was standing so casually in the reception and enquiring about her, without a care or thought of what it was doing to her... His simple enquiry was causing an earthquake of that extreme scale that it was shattering every single brick of her palace of lies to its bits and pieces...

Oh whom was she kidding? How could she ever think that she could hideaway forever? There right in front of her was her past, mocking at her! And just like always her braveness gave away... and her deadly cowardice raised its head... Panic happily clutched her in its vicious claws and led her to where she was standing right now... at the ledge of the hill which overlooked the answers to all her troubles... those deep turbulent waters...