What It Means To Be Me

Putting The Ball In Your Court

"How can you shoot so well with that bad eye?"

He seemed to ignore my question until he was behind a curtain and had the shower running. Hmph. He'd tossed his clothes right outside so I couldn't even get a peek.

"Practice," he finally said.

"Ah..."

My wolf was nudging at me to walk behind that flimsy little curtain and mate, but Cole didn't want me. Obviously my inner animal didn't seem to understand that because it had me walking over anyway, but thankfully I managed to stop right before I yanked the curtain back. Instead, I kicked his bag behind me a few feet, as well as his dirty clothing. He heard me and peeked outside the curtain, then growled quietly.

"Tanner..."

My wolf pushed itself to the forefront and gave a bothered whine before making me speak. "Wanna see."

His eyes narrowed before he ducked back behind the curtain and growled out a reply. "No. Get out."

"Then I'll take your dirty clothes and bag with me."

Before I could even get everything in my arms, he was there, grabbing the bag and holding it against his chest like a scolded child who was afraid of losing an important toy. He was just too cute. He probably didn't even realize he was giving me a pretty nice view of his lower half, and that adorable little scowl on his face. Not to mention his glasses were still on the bridge of his nose. He probably forgot them there, but I wasn't going to remind him about them, even though it should be obvious since they were getting soaked. I knew we were both feeling something completely different, but I couldn't help myself when I stepped forward, invading his personal space.

"Tanner...stop," he said, his voice deepening with his wolf's agitation.

"Why don't you want me?" I asked, my own voice getting a little higher with upset.

"Wh-What? What are you talking about?"

He knew what I was talking about. I gave a low growl to show that I wasn't amused, then took another step forward. My chest was now flush with his arms where they wrapped around the small duffle bag.

"I don't get it. I'm bigger. Stronger. I'm getting smarter every day, and I have a great job to be able to provide for you. Why won't you let me have you?"

~Cole~

He just didn't understand. He might be bigger, and he MIGHT be stronger, but that wasn't what it was about. You didn't just walk up to an alpha and tell them they were beneath you and expect them to spread their legs for you. Besides, the alpha was the one who knew who his mate was. If we were both alphas, we should both know. I didn't feel a pull toward him other than one of a parent to a pup, so there was no way we could be mates.

"Get out of my personal space, Tannnner."

My words were growled as my wolf nudged its way forward, not willing to be demeaned for much longer.

"No."

What the hell.

"Tanner, back. Off. Now."

He stepped closer, and I unintentionally let the slight push against my bag nudge me backward a step.

Shit!

Immediately he took the gesture to mean I was submitting and backing down, and quickly pushed forward again. His determination flared with my mistake, and soon I had my back against the wall behind the shower curtain, my bag dropped right in front of the shower. Tanner pinned my wrists against the cold tile, but my main focus was getting through to him. It was obvious his wolf was calling most of the shots right then, and that was going to get extremely dangerous soon if my own managed to get through, too.

"Tanner. Listen to me. If you ever want me to consider you anything close to a mate, you will back away from me. Now."

His eyes widened slightly as he tried to figure out my words. His wolf was obviously thinking about other things, but thankfully Tanner was slowly pulling himself back together. What I didn't expect, though, was the quiet whimper that came from his slightly parted lips as he finally leaned back a little to give me some breathing room. I took a steadying breath and licked my lips, but quickly stopped when I noticed him leaning in again.

"Tanner. I know you're confused about... all of this, but I promise, if you force me to be your mate, I will hate you forever."

His face suddenly changed to one of honest terror.

"C-Cole...I-I...why, I..."

I was careful not to make any more submissive gestures as he slowly calmed down. Realization making its way into his expression.

"Tanner. You need to understand that everything isn't won by force. If you keep pushing me, I'll fight back. I'm not a beta, and considering the way you've been acting since the night you ran away from me several years ago... I don't want you back in my life."

The utterly torn look on Tanner's face had my heart constricting, but I couldn't let up now. He obviously didn't understand, and even as he began to cry, I had to keep pushing until he did.

"I don't like being pushed around, and I don't like being made fun of. If you want to have any chance of ever getting on my good side again, you best knock it off with this mate shit, or I will begin biting back. Now, take your pick. Are you going to keep forcing me into a corner, or are you going to back off and let me breathe?"

For several minutes, the only sounds in the locker room were the spray of the shower and our deep breathing as we both tried to steady our emotions and calm our wolves.

"Cole..." Tanner whispered just loud enough for me to hear him. He had looked down, though I could tell he wasn't looking at my lower half but instead honestly showing his upset. When he finally did speak again, his red-rimmed eyes hesitantly met mine. There was no more challenge there... just depression.

"Please... I-I want to be back in your life. I-I don't want to fight you. I missed you...so much."

I had too, so badly. When he'd run away, I'd felt a piece of myself vanish. The attack didn't bother me since he was definitely a high-ranking wolf; it was pure instinct. However, now that I had him back, I really didn't want him to disappear again. I slowly straightened up as we both quietly sighed.

"Do you have a place to stay while you're taking classes?" I asked, trying not to fidget as I spoke.

He seemed a bit surprised at the question but quickly stumbled out an answer. "I was going to get a hotel room, uh, till I found a place... I guess..."

"I have a proposition for you," I said calmly. His brows shot up, but he quickly took a step back, giving me some space as he waited for me to continue.

"You can rent a room at my place. One hundred dollars a month. I often have pack members staying there so if you try anything, you likely won't be coming out of it unscathed."

Tanner didn't hesitate to nod as a smile gracedhis face. For once, it wasn't cocky or dominant. It was just showing purehappiness. Thus, when he stepped forward again and wrapped his arms around my chestgently for a hug, I gladly returned the gesture. It finally felt like thatmissing piece was back. My pup had come back home.