They say, to love yourself more than you love others
But I'll tell right away, "Have you ever thought of receiving the love you gave?"
I might love 3 more men in my entire life and running back to you, saying
"You're the only one that I loved."
Lies and Deception between love and loneliness, bother me some nights I frequently ask myself,
"Do I love someone or just want the experience of loving someone?"
I gave my everything, my morals, and dignity, and still asked the question,
"Do I love him or just I want to love him?"
I showed love but I felt nothing, I gave love but it gained me nothing.
So selfish of someone like me to show love but feel nothing towards him, but trust me
"I want to love him because he deserves my love."
I felt like a problem, showing obsession is nearly too toxic.
I Pity everyone who loves me for I do feel nothing,
The guilt shallows my pride and gives anything without a sincere decision.
I want to feel high and in love too, daydreaming of my crushes and holding hands together
but it's happening, My heart lost its beat forever as I lost her wings to fly and free of every kind of love.
They might call me a liar and a cheater, but it's not my decision to pour you, undecisive love.
"What do you gain for doing this?"
I say, "My heart builds its barrier to protect itself from anyone,
I want to break the barrier by trying to love someone,
Bring back my heart again,
If anyone understands me,
I will give you my whole love."
He stopped me,
"Real love comes from the heart, it doesn't have a script who and how to love somebody just because your brain wants you."
He left,
I felt nothing.
I realized,
I laughed,
"I think, I will never be able to love and to be loved again."
I left,
"It doesn't need to fake it, my heart stopped its beat a long time ago."
Stone heart, break into piece still a piece of stone.
I'm sorry if I was ever able to love someone dearly; My heart would choose you again and again.
