The birth of the Blue Phoenix - Book 2 (MxM 18+)

Chapter 11: Pep talk

"What request?" I ask warily.

Why do I immediately think of a collar, leash, and all that shit?

"Don't go back there," he tells me in a very serious tone.

"Well it's not as if I have many other options," I reply bitterly. "But thank you for your concern."

"If you really have nowhere else to go," he says gently, "you can stay in my loft for as long as you need."

"So that you can fuck me whenever you want? I think not."

"I just told you I wasn't interested in you repaying me with sex," he growls.

"Well, I won't be kneeling or crawling everywhere just for your entertainment, you sick pervert! I have had enough of this BDSM shit, thank you very much!" I yell.

The good thing about being in the hospital is that I am finally rid of Thomas' monstrous collar. The doc asked me yesterday if he could remove it and I was very glad to agree. Still, I will have to put it back if I want to find him in a not too pissy mood.

"I never proposed you to live at my place as my Submissive," he answers. "I just offered it if you need somewhere safe to stay while you get back on your feet."

Again, who does that? I can't help but feel there is an ulterior motive in this suspiciously generous offer.

"Incidentally," he adds, "what you experienced with your so-called boyfriend has nothing to do with BDSM."

"What do you mean so-called boyfriend," I reply angrily, "Thomas and I love each other very much!"

"Oh, I don't doubt that. He loves you so much he has no problem beating you for no reason, strangling you or letting his friends rape you..."

His sarcasm makes me blush deeply. Sure when you put it like this, it's hard to see the affection, but he is so much more than his bad temper.

"I'm sure that you love him," he keeps on. "But can you honestly tell me that you will be safe with him?"

I don't know what to answer so I just keep my mouth shut.

"Remember that you called me for help," he keeps on. "And this is just me offering that help. I have no hidden agenda here, except seeing you get better. Ask yourself very honestly this question, what do you think will happen if you go back there? And even if he is nice today, how much time until he hits you again... or worse? Did he strangle you until you passed out the time he left those marks? Do you know you could have never woken up from this? Do you know his friends could have infected you with HIV by fucking you bareback?"

Each one of his questions is like a blow and I see the wall that is my determination slowly crack. He is right on every account, of course. Even if it kills me to admit it, Thomas has consistently followed the pattern of fuck up, apologize, be nice and fuck up again for the past year.

You said it was his last chance after the asphyxiation part! I say to myself.

And last night was even worse. But can I even walk away from almost six years together just like that? To go stay with a stranger who has weird sexual habits?

"Why do you let him do all of this to you?" he asks even more softly.

Well, I tried to tell him to stop... that always ended well, of course... and it's not like I have any choice...

Except now I do have a choice. A very scary one at that. In option one, there is more physical abuse. But in option two, I have to leave the man I love.