Lonely. Lonely and isolated. Isolated and silent. That's just my life. I have no one that cares or loves me. No one to scream and shout at me when I get home late. No one to play with my hair when I'm sad.
I have no one.
At first it was hard to get used to hearing only my breathing. Inhale. Exhale. Every minute without fail. I just keep on pedalling through my empty city. My favourite blue jumper hugging me closely making me feel safe.
It's weird, when there is no noise in a huge city, what you notice. When there are no cars, the traffic lights flick from red, to amber, to green. In the beginning, the sound was annoying. But I guess when you get used to things they don't bother you anymore.
In the beginning, the silence was suffocating. Today, it still suffocates, but I've learned to breathe.
I have all this space in this empty city to myself but I'm reluctant to leave the comfort zone that is my bike. As I pedal I see an abandoned car. Doors open. I glance inside and the first thing I see is a car seat and children's toys.
A mother and a father. Both singing joyously to 'The Wheels on the Bus'. The baby is delighted, giving that adorable baby laugh. Giggling. I don't remember the last time I laughed or even smiled. I have nothing to smile about. No one to laugh with.
Faintly, so far away I almost missed it, was a noise. A noise foreign to me.
There! I heard it again. What is that?
Closer now, I know what it is. Barking. It's the sound of a pack of dogs barking. I turn around and to my horror, I see a pack of angry, vicious dogs.
Thump! Thump! Thump! My heart is going haywire. My feet pedal faster but it's not enough. It will never be enough. I look behind again and the dogs are almost at my back wheel. I let out a croaky scream. I haven't spoken in ages.
The dogs are nipping at my legs, breaking the skin. Blood trickles down my legs. I'm crying now. My body gives out, exhausted I fly off my bike and the dogs continue to bite at me. My arms cover my face. "No! Please! Leave me alone!" I screamed, desperate.
Then suddenly, silence. I open my eyes. "She had another anxiety attack," a voice whispered, "I can't seem to get any words from her anymore"
A tear rolls down my face. I'm not alone.
But I'm afraid. Afraid and hurt. Hurt and silent.
