dangerous ~ bryles

On the outside...

Briar
"Bri oh my god!" Said Myles rushing over to me. He tried touching it but I pulled it away and just sobbed away from him. "Please you need help." "I'm not the one who needs help, you do." I said watching the blood deep through the bandage. What have I done? "We both need it. You hate me I know but I need to help you!" He started rushing into the bathroom grabbing bandages and a cloth. "Bri let me see." He said sitting next to me but I pulled it away. "Please." He said and I just sat up and he took a hold of my arm and started unraveling the bandage but I looked away. I'm so ashamed in myself, I hate seeing it. I felt the cloth push against the cut making me screech in pain but he just kept the pressure. "It's going to be okay, I promise." The bandage was now on and I just sat up and quickly wiped away all my tears. He stayed there though, just staring at me. Like he thought he could fix this once again. If anythings as going to happen between us again, it's because I was ready. "Myles please go." "B-" "leave please, don't ruin it anymore." I said looking down as I felt him slowly get up. "I'm worried about you." He said which made me look up. "And I'm worried about you but I can't do anything now Myles, it's all ruined." I said crying and he started walking over to me but however much I needed his comfort, I needed to turn him away. I need to be strong. "No." I said closing my eyes and when I opened them he just turned around and walked out lightly shutting the door. This whole thing was a mess. Myles why did you do it?

Two weeks later

Briar
I'm still a complete mess but I can hide it now. I can't be open with my feelings anymore, it's not safe anymore. I barely speak to Myles or see him, he's always out and that kills me. I found out about Tyson and Victoria wedding too, I've always wanted to be in a happy couple and get married, like a Cinderella story. But that's far from reality for me. I've been cutting more, I can't help it it's part of me now. And the fact is the more I do it, the less it hurts so it means I have to don't even more. It's about the only thing keeping me going. I have no clue why I'm still staying here either, but I don't any to leave. I'm not happy here but if I'm at my house I'm all alone, just hearing voices makes me at least a little happier. Tyson has been keeping me in touch on how Myles is doing, and apparently not well at all. I just want to fix it which I could for a few days but it will all fall apart, that's not what either of us need. But I've been staying away from him. It's hard hearing about the person you love changing and getting worse let alone seeing it. I need to focus on myself and that means I have to try not to think about Myles, he's my whole life. I have no friends or family, he's literally my life and that's because my life has been messed up so bad. My mum hadn't returned and I got a call saying she's getting her things shipped out to Florida, I'm truly all alone.
Their wedding is in a few days and it's in California. I'm so excited honestly, I'm the maid of honour and me Tyson Vic and Myles are all flying out tomorrow. It's the only thing I have been thinking about to get my mind of things. It's like I can only sort my life out when I'm invested in someone's else's, it's not healthy but who's gonna care? I don't, who else do I have?
I was packing being careful of my arms that were covered in skin coloured bandages. It's less noticeable but it me it sticks out. It's a mistake I said I'll never make again yet it's my life, it's jut hard but I've cried so hard throughout my life tears don't even fall anymore, just pain.
I packed my makeup, some clothes and my hair things. I had to do my own makeup and hair for the wedding which Im happy about, I don't like other people touching me. I've become close to Victoria too, it's like she's my best friend now which I need. But however much I try to avoid my problems, they are eating em up. I'm avoiding them so much I'm becoming weaker yet stronger. But people only care about the outside. Because if I say the right tings and act the right way, I'm okay, right? If I say I'm okay, even the most cold blooded people will believe me. But the one person that wouldn't is Myles, but that's why I let him go. Love can't mess up my life anymore...