Teen Idols And Happy Meals

Sugar And Pickups

I turned it up as it went and rolled the windows down. I was having a grand time, belting out the classics in a tone deaf manner with one of my best friends, Carter Mills. It may have seemed like Carter and I were dating, but we really weren’t.

We had a weird relationship that has involved fucking in the past, I do admit. But he was not my boyfriend in any sense. There is nothing romantic between us. He’s just a pervert, and I’m just too playful for my own good. Many people have gotten the wrong idea about us.

We were just friends though. No matter what we did, we had a grand time. Even now, cruising down to Fairview while rocking out to some old school Def Leppard, we were having a fantastic time. Even as we deafened everybody at red lights with our tone deaf singing of Pour Some Sugar On Me. 

It was all great fun, until the car in front of us suddenly came to a dead stop out of nowhere.

Everything seemed to happen very quickly then. I let out a shrill scream as Carter stomped on the brakes, but not in time to keep us from slamming into the Hummer. There was the distinct sound of crunching metal as we were both jolted forward by the inertia. Carter was thrown into the steering wheel, while my seatbelt kept me in place while cutting into my skin a little.

Surprisingly though, the air bags didn’t deploy. Apparently we didn’t hit hard enough, but it certainly seemed like we did. Then again, the radio hadn’t shut off so maybe this truck was even tougher than I thought.

“Holy shit,” I breathed, turning the radio off so I could try and get my bearings. Cars had already begun to reroute, going around us to continue on their journeys. Luckily it was a two lane road or we’d have caused an even bigger traffic jam than I was sure we would.

“Are you okay?” I asked frantically.

“Motherfucker!” he swore loud enough that all nuns within a fifty mile radius were probably covering their ears, “Cock sucking piece of motherfucking shit! Shit!”

“Carter chill out,” I soothed. I wasn’t surprised by his reaction. Carter was toeing the line of being a redneck, and nothing was more important to him than his truck. It was like his baby. And of course, we’d hit the only other car on the road that could possibly do damage to this monster. A hummer. “Let’s just go see if the other people are okay.”

“Oh they better be okay,” he said, struggling with the lock on the door due to anger, “Cause I’m going to kill them!”

“Carter!” I called as he jumped out of the car. I tried to follow after him, but my seatbelt prevented me. “Ah shit,” I mumbled, undoing the seatbelt and scrambling out of the car. I ran around the back and emerged on the other side to find Carter screaming at two very large men dressed in black suits – one with a chauffeur hat on, oddly enough.

“What the fuck was that!” Carter demanded of them, getting in their faces. Based on their size, I couldn’t help but think that was a bad idea. I ran over and grabbed hold of Carter’s arm. I wasn’t stupid enough to think I could overpower him, but maybe I could calm him down.

“Carter, relax,” I reasoned, “Give them a chance to explain.”

“You mean give them a chance to explain why they slammed on their breaks in the middle of the fucking road!?” he shouted loud enough to break the sound barrier.

“Look son, I was given last minute directions. I almost missed the turn off. I had to slow down significantly because it was a very sharp turn. I put my blinker on too late I guess. I’m sorry-,” hastily explained the man who was clearly the chauffeur.

“Oh you’re sorry!?” Carter scoffed, “Oh well that changes everything! I’m sure sorry’s going to fix my truck!”

“Carter, stop it,” I soothed. “You’re freaking out.”