ANIMUS [H.S]

Prolog

- Shoot me, you idiot! I scream exhausted pulling the greasy hair from my bloody face. Without any further desire to escape, I continue to raise strong the chain that surrounds my legs. It hurts so much, but more emotionally than physically.

I knew that it was the worst idea that I could ever think of. The truth isn't the best option sometimes. And you know why? Because he didn't love me. He doesn't and he won't. A part of me wants to belive that all these memories, happy and even the sad ones weren't trash for him. Perhaps a little bit of his heart was there, somewhere. Oh, this is just a joke, everything is just a comedy show for the curly boy.

I laugh sick at my foolish mind, feeling my throat was burning due to the need of water. Oh, God, how much I want a drop of water. Since I have been here, when this devil was leaving me in this dark and cold room, I imagine the smell of the roasted chicken made by Jane, even the baked potato that I always hated. I miss the food, the water and my warm bed. Everything that I want is to eat a slice of cold pizza.

I would cry so hard after my previous life, but I don't have tears anymore.

Honestly, I don't really know the feeling of being death, but I know I am almost there. Maybe I am here for days, weeks or months. Here, in this cellar, tied like a dog, almost dying because I fell in love with the wrong person.

I was a mess. He was a mess. But we were a tidy mess. One that I loved once.

Suddenly, my eyes wander around the silhouette of the boy who stole my heart. Like always, he is wearing a white t-shirt with a blood stain, ripped jeans and his classic boots. So casual, so comfy, so perfect. I can't belive that I am full of blood, almost death in front of him and he is so fine with my situation.

In the past I would rip his shirt off to kiss all over his chest, teasing him until our lips desperate would meet. Or the feeling of his mint breath hitting my face, passionately increasingly below. I miss him. I miss the kind Harry.

-Why? I hear the husky voice that I adore and raise up my gaze, trying to see any emotions on his poker face.

I frown my eyebrows confused by his question, waiting him to continue. My mind was changing completly when his body approached me, almost touching. I was afraid of him. Even if he didn't hit me or does anything to hurt me physically, I was so scared.

Suddenly, I screamed loud and removed from the place that I was sitting, when his hand wanted to touch gentle my cheek. For the first time, since I have been in this awfull place, I saw a single emotion passing through his eyes. Right now. Right here.

He was in pain because I was afraid, that I could hate him. I wish it would be so easy. You know, just to push a button and my feelings for him to disappear forever.Even when he talked about his family, he wasn't that hurt.

I was shaking and so does he. We were staring to each other for minutes, and I was more scared than I've ever been in my life. Today it was that day.

He's gonna kill me.

His look was apologetically and this wasn't a good sign. I am ready, but he is not. The worst part it was that he has to kill me even if nobody hates anyone. I love him with all my heart. And well, I want to belive that he does to, but I would be lying to myself. 

I know that he doesn't hate me either.But he hates my bond. My DNA.

-Why it has to be you, babe? Harry said with a sad voice, making a creepy echo.

-From all of this people...in this entire world..

I let out a sight, trying not to cry. This question was all over my mind, since the truth was discovered. I shouldn't let myself falling into his darkness, I should have run when I could... But I wasn't strong enough to leave him like this.

I don't regret anything. I love him.

- I love you, Gi.

Tears are flowing on my cheeks because of the words murmured by him and the disgust was refill again in my soul. This is too much. This fuc.king hurts. More than any hit by his friends.

-Stop. I say loud with my jaw clenched and water eye.

-You have to b-belive me. Yo-u h-hav-ve too. He said like a sick person and trying to touch me again but I couldn't let that happen.

I silently denied and as fast as I thought I wasn't the only one crying.

-I d-don't. I whisper knowing that he is hurt as much as I am.

-Please babe...I had to do this.. He said desperately with tears all over his face.

-Can we finish this? I am ready. I said trying to stop from screaming and crying, but nothing is helping me right now.

- I am so sorry. He said crying harder and coming closer to me.

-I am sorry too, Harry. I wanted to help you. I sighed one more time, hugging him tight.

He was shoocked by my reaction, but he put his arms around me. It was so perfect. For a few seconds I was at home again. This is my last wish. To be able to touch him one more time.

-I will regret my whole life, Gi. He said carring gentle my hair.

-What do you regret?I asked him confused and sad.

-Animus.