Marital Bliss

pedophiles and bankers

"SOPHIA!" The sound of someone screaming my name from the living room startles me and I jump slightly. Slightly panicked, I rush out of the kitchen where I was just about to start dishing out lunch for myself and my best friends Toke and Funke. I've taken only about five steps when I bump into Funke, who by the way, is very pregnant. Eight months to be exact. Before I can even ask why she practically screamed my name she drags me to the living room, where I was headed and there I see my long lost gate man standing suspiciously close to the door, ready for flight I presume. His balding head looks shiny and slick, beads of sweat running from his forehead down his chubby cheeks, disappearing at the collar of his wrinkled misbuttuned shirt which can barely restrain his pot belly. His black trousers are worse, with oil and dust stains. His bare feet are surprisingly clean enough. Thank God for shoes. Toke is  sprawled across the sofa with a slight smirk on her face, eagerly looking between Sule and I. I see  Funke from the corner of my eye gingerly placing herself in the armchair beside Toke with pretty much the same expression. I told my arms and let out a sigh, walking closer to Sule when the stench of alcohol hits me. I quickly retrace my steps and take deep breaths, hoping I won't sound as annoyed as I feel.

"Where have you been Sule?"

He jumps slightly at the sound of my voice and moves slightly closer to the door. "Madam?"

"I said where have you been? Dayo and I searched everywhere for you yesterday and am very sure you didn't sleep in your quarters."

He clips and fidgets with his sweaty collar, his eyes meeting mine for the first time " I go to Asero madam."

Asewhat? I know a lot of places and this Asero is certainly not one of them " where is that? Is it on the main land? And what was your business there?"

He looks down again "Yes ma."

"Yes what?" I snap.

"Is on main land. I go and do marriage. I go and drop money. I marriage yesterday ma."

My jaw drops and there's pin drop silence for a few seconds before Toke and Funke burst out laughing.

"Congrats sir" Toke guffaws.

Am beyond flabbergasted "You got married yesterday and you did not think to tell me? Where is your wife? You should have introduced her to Dayo and I since she will be staying here with us. We simply cannot accept a stranger in to our home Sule. Wife or not."

He looks up at me pleadingly " she is good girl ma. Very fine. Yellow like oyibo. She can do work ma. Every cleaning. Every washing. Even to cook. Fine strong girl. She can work in the house ma. No to pay."

"Is she here with you?" I move to sit beside Toke who is watching Sule with wide eyes. No doubt she'll be relating everything to her husband Sam, I a few hours. Fine thing she married a man who shares her penchant for gossip.

"No madam" Sule replies. "I say I will ask you and oga first. I just come back now. I could have tell you before I go. But I wake up early early. That time you and oga have sleep."

"So where is this girl from?" Funke asks, leaning forward. Or as foreward as her stomach will allow.

"Abeokuta ma"

"So she's Yoruba?" Toke chips in.

"Yes ma. Fine Yoruba girl. Yellow like oyibo. She go go school. She finish junior secondary. Is me that pay for her. She finish last month." Sule puffs out his chest a bit. No doubt due to the fact that his new bride is somewhat educated thanks to him.

Hold on though "You said she finished junior high last month right? How old is she exactly?" I ask

Sule puffs up even more "Eighteen years ma."