Hesitation was her flaw, always running towards it as she contemplated in these fleeting moments of life. The more hesitation she put into it, the more she saw the errors in her decision. That is why her lies were also transparent.
“Did you study?”
Moments of silence, extra long and cringe worthy. “Y-Yes.” A piercing stare from her instructor. “Really,” she said.
“Really?”
She cleared her throat and in her mind she visualized the laws of the traffic. She affirmatively nodded.
“Okay…go to the traffic circle,” her instructor calmly stated as he put his clipboard on his lap and leaned back onto the passenger seat.
“What?” She asked, perspiration thickening under her wispy side bangs. She felt her face blaze and her stomach turn to knots.
“Go on now.”
She listened, first checking all her mirrors and adjusting the seatbelt. Cautiously, she pulled away from the curb, making a left at the next street light.
Ever so slowly she traveled downhill to the roundabout—thank god for the congested traffic!—and drummed her fingers as her inner self was shitting bricks. She never, ever dared to come and drive through the traffic circle. Never! And here she was behind a blue truck, waiting for her turn.
“I—I can’t!” She blurted.
“But you’re already on the lane. You can do this. You studied remember?”
What was he implying that son of a gun? All this for something that might not possibly, maybe so not be true? “But I’m scared,” she gusted out in trembling lips as her stomach did summersaults.
Her instructor looked ahead as the giant circle filled with zooming cars that went round and round. “I believe in you.”
She checked her mirrors to see that she was closed in at all sides by cars, she ignored his babbling, it wasn’t helping. “I’m—I’m gonna die!”
“Relax.”
“I’m. Gonna. Die.”
“Just listen, you gotta be confident. Don’t hesitate and everything will be alright.”
She tried not to blubber as she saw the cars effortlessly whizz in and out like race car drivers. They were all experienced and maybe doing this for years, while she was a beginner, behind the wheel trying to not defecate on herself. She heard that was the last thing people did sometimes when they died. She didn’t want to be found dead with feces all over!
One more car and it was their turn.
“Can we switch seats?!”
“What?” Her instructor gave her a glance and shook his head. “No, it would be dangerous to do that now.”
“But—But—But, I don’t wanna be found dead with shit all over my pants!” She was in full panic mode, mumbling and gripping the steering wheel with all her might.
“What?!”
“Oh! Oh god no!” It was their turn and she yielded, looked left for oncoming traffic to see a few cars on the other entrance going in and she waited. “Oh my god! Oh my effing god!”
The instructor was watching the cars as well and quickly said, “Okay, now! Now, go!”
She shook her head and hesitated, but didn’t go forward. Cars behind her were getting anxious and started beeping and revving their engines. The instructor ignored them, gazed at the traffic until it dwindled and said, “Go, go, go, go!”
Her foot pushed onto the pedal and rammed the car forward. She was in the circle with the other cars, whining away, “Aaaaaahh.”
“Drift near the curb and get out. Get out.”
She took several moments to think straight and she exclaimed, “I—I cant!”
