Note: So sorry for not updating this story for a while, but you should understand it's not easy to write this. I can never think of Divek in a state like this so it takes up a lot of energy to even think to write. it's only sometimes that I get a sudden rush of inspiration. So please bear with me. This is absolutely a work of fiction and a figment of my imagination. And has no similarity to the 'real' Divek.
Ekta was not available so she did the next best thing; going to Sandiips house. Sandiip has been a very dear friend to them and over the years, they've become closer than ever. She knew she needed to talk to out with someone before she could have the courage to speak to her husband about it. she wanted to hear herself say this to someone to truly know if what she wants is actually that horrible, considering she would be keeping her husband away from getting one of the most joyous gift of life.
Thankfully, Sandy was available so she went straight to his home. She hadn't realize she had been crying on the way to his house until she did her routine check-up of her face on the vanity mirror in her car. Wiping her tears, she got out of the car and walked to his house with wobbling legs. If she was this nervous to talk to Sandy about this, she couldn't imagine how nervous she would be talking to her husband about it. Ringing the bell, she took a deep breath. Sandy opened the door within a few seconds and welcomed her by embracing her into a tight hug. That hugged made her calm her nervous and she left out a sigh, feeling safe in her friends comfort.
"How lovely to see you, darling," he said smiling, taking a good look at her. "You look amazing! Come, come. Mom is making you something." He ushered her inside the house.
"Thank you Sandy. And sorry for calling last minute and asking if you're free. I'm sure you must've had work to do."
"Oh please. Don't be so formal now. I always have time for my friends. But is everything okay with you? You seem to be bothered. Is Vivek alright? Are you alright?" he asked, sitting next to her.
"Yes, yes. We are both fine," she said, sitting down. Dropping her bag on the floor next to her, she looked at her friend. Taking a good hard look at him, she quickly ran through the repercussions if she confided in him. Normally she wouldn't think much, but this was not a normal issue. This was a very personal issue. One that should be very intimate and between two partners, so she kept deliberating in the span of a few seconds if this was indeed, a good idea.
She decided she needed to tell someone, and she couldn't think of anyone to share this with other than Sandy and in the judgment of a few seconds, she decided she would confide in him. She knew Vivek would not mind this and she won't have to feel guilty about this.
"Sandy, Vivek and I are both fine but there is something that's been going on and I needed to confide in someone. I needed to talk to someone about this. I still haven't confided in my husband regarding this and so this is a huge deal for me. Can I do that? Can I confide in you?"
Sighing, he said, "You know you can tell me anything. Anything you want. As long as it won't get you into trouble considering this is a big deal and you haven't confided in Vivek as well."
"No, it won't." she affirmed. Holding his hands, she sighed one more time. Thinking it was the right thing, she blurted it out, "Vivek wants a baby."
Surprised by what she said, he widened his eyes. No, this was not what he thought she would say. Unable to find the right words, he just stared at her for a few seconds.
"Oh. That is a good thing, right?" he asked, not sure how to react.
"It is a good thing except that I don't want a baby now." And this news was even more shocking for him to fathom. Taking his hands from his, he covered his mouth, to which she smiled.
"I'm sorry I am throwing this all to you. I know I sound like a horrible person right now. I do want a baby, of course I do. But I am not ready for one. And I don't know what to do. Vivek wants a baby now and he is ready for it now. But I am not."
"May I ask why you're ready? Are you scared for motherhood."
"Okaaay. So this is only going to get worse. No, I am not scared about motherhood. I am not ready for a baby now because I was offered a role in a webseries. And I don't want to refuse it. And if we have a baby now, I will have to."
"Oh. Now it makes sense to me. You can act with a baby bump, nor you would want few years after the baby comes."
"I know, I sound horrible."
"Divyanka, you don't sound horrible. I actually understand very clearly where you are coming from. To be honest, I don't why you have gotten yourself so worked up about it. I am sure if you convey this to Vivek, he too, will understand you. You and I both know he is the most understanding guy out there."
"I know that. I know he will understand. But the thing is, I don't want him to understand. I don't want him to regret trying to understand me, or trying to give me my space and my freedom to do what I want. I know this means a lot to him, it means everything to him. I don't want him to understand me and end up being frustrated with me."
"So what do you want to do?"
"I don't know. I haven't really figured it out. I know I have to tell him, but before I do that, I need to know if accepting this offer means more to me than giving Vivek what he desires the most and end up regretting it. What if I refuse this offer and end up being frustrated with myself? What if I am not happy about this baby or pregnancy or motherhood knowing what I had to give up to give birth to? What if I accept the offer and he gets frustrated, knowing I am taking away his happiness? How do I make the right decision, a decision where we both can end up happy and not frustrated with me."
"Darling, you are the most sorted person I know. I know things may seem very tangled right now, but I trust you to make the right decision. I know you will do what you think is best. I am so happy you came to me and you could trust me with such a major matter in your life."
"Thank you for listening, Sandy. There is no one I could have thought of going to."
Hugging him and saying their goodbyes, she left the house, alright feel light. She knew she had to make a decision before talking to Vivek, but then she thought; they're married. They're husband and wife. They should be making decisions together, and she shouldn't make a decision on her own that could change the course of their life. Thinking what she was doing was unfair to her husband, she decided she would go and talk to him.
To Be Continued.
