As I stand in this dark place
there is no mystery as to how I got here
I knew the path all too well
When I started I knew there was only one way this journey could end
But I chose to walk it anyway
Why should I be surprised that I despise where I find myself and who I am?
What is the use of wishing now that this time I had refused to take this path?
There is no one to blame save myself.
I once again saw the lights, the colors that appeared so enticing
knowing full well that they were but an illusion
I once again heard the promises
knowing full well that they were lies
I once again felt the rush of excitement
knowing full well that it only led to pain
I ignored everything I know to be true
as I walked into this dark place deep in the recesses of my heart
Now that I find myself once again covered in filth invisible to all but you
I am not sure what shames me the most
the fact that this place still resides in my heart
or the fact that I cannot hide it from you
or the fact that I gave in and followed this path again
or the fact that the only road back is over your broken body.
I stand here in fear
Is this the time I give up?
Is this the time I resign myself to living in the stench of this place?
Is this the time that you have lost all patience with me?
Is this the time I will not cry out to you
the time my tears will not flow?
In the midst of my fear I feel a tiny drop of blood land on my head
and begin to roll down the side of my face
It is your blood, blood that I caused to flow so many centuries ago
As it slowly makes it way to my cheek
my tears start to flow blending with the blood
It is this mixture that creates a streak down my face
as it gently washes the blackness in its path
It is quickly followed by another drop
which mixes with yet another tear from my eyes
soon I am covered by both blood and tears
soon I am washed clean of this dark place
soon I find myself back in the light
I know that this time
as there always well be there was enough blood to save me
but next time will there be tears?
The hope of the world is that there is always enough blood
the despair of the world is that there is never enough tears.
So I plead with you, I pray the only words that I can find that
no matter how often I stray down this path
no matter how deep I fall
no matter how many lies I knowingly accept
never allow me to forget there is always enough blood
and never never allow my tears to dry up
YOU ARE READING
Poems About God
PoetryI'm not a poet by any means but I play one on TV (not really). I will add the occasional poem to this work from time to time. The first one is Allow Me