Public Diary Basically

#1- C.H.

On the first week of school he was transfered into my math class. I didn't really talk to him, but I told him what the teacher said only simplified basically and joked a bit. The next Monday, which was the solar eclipse I hung out with my friends in the burning heat all day (yay) but as it was coming to a close, I pulled out a pack of gum and the group of popular boys next to me looked over and tried to convince me why I should give them a piece of gum I didn't have any gum after that but I didn't care. Anyway CH walked up to me and said that we were friends now. I didn't believe him but just nodded anyway. The next day in math we actually talked and we did become friends. We talked in both classes we had together. Occasionally he would ask me how my day was or something and I developed a small crush on him. Nothing changed for a while except that feelings only grow stronger with time. The thing I hate about liking someone is that I always crush myself by telling myself everything that's wrong with me and that I'll never be good enough. The thing is I could be in the happiest mood but if he looked sad I would worry about him and ask him what's wrong and I would be sad until the next period I had with him and he would be happy again. Last week he turned to me in 7th period and said "I like you" thinking he meant in a friend sort of way I said it back but then he just looked at me again and said "no like, I like you" before I could ask what he meant the teacher started talking and he turned around. After the teacher finished talking, CH went on talking like he didn't say anything I literally just kept wondering if he actually said it. Since then he hasn't talked to me as much and has been rude and aggressive towards me and I don't know if he's kidding or not.