Hey, Afzal.
I hope you are doing well. Actually I don't care anymore about how you're doing, that's what I keep telling myself, but guess what? I actually do. I care so much about you, that it hurts me. After all this, you just wish everything to be normal again? Was it ever normal before? For you, maybe, it was. But for me, it wasn't. Thank you for hurting me. Thank you for using me. Thank you that after all these months I'm just not able to get over you and your lustful behaviour. Thank you for haunting me at my day time, when I try to not think about you, but you smile flashes in my mind, to make everything worse. Thank you for haunting me at my night time, when I am not even able to sleep, but these pills force me to, and you come haunting for my blood in my dreams, and the worse part? I can't even wake up! I have to suffer through everything, everyday, every minute of my life from the day you ruined my life. And all you want is me. How? How are you so cruel? How do you act like I was the one who walked away? Why don't you accept the truth? You want to know the truth? Then here it. You are a beast. A beast whose eyes are always filled with lust. And it is hard to tame a beast. Now I know why your ex who was before me, left you. She did that for herself, to runaway from the beast inside you. And that's what I'm trying to do too. Because I see that she's happy now, she has moved on. But will I be able to? She was able to accept everything and move on. Maybe that's what is wrong with me. That I'm not even able to accept it. And here I am, still trying to think gold about you, while all you ever did was hurt me. Thank you, Afzal, for destroying me. For destroying every piece of hope in me. Now all I ever want is to kill myself. I can't trust anyone else. I can't talk to anyone. I can't breathe. I can't. I just can't. Thank you, Afzal.
~ Sarah.
