Winter's Redemption [winter soldier//Bucky Barnes AU]

Chapter Thirteen

"We found you."

He said simply, looking as if he didn't fully believe that I was in fact sitting here next to him. I nodded, opening my mouth to speak but not knowing what to say. There were too many things floating unsaid between us. All I could really think was, this is him. My best friend. He's here. He's alive.

Suddenly a bullet ricocheted off the side mirror above my head, and Steve's gentle glance hardened.

"We need to take them out at once so they can't call for reinforcements!" Steve shouted, his previous disbelief halted as he took charge. I shook myself from my daze and nodded as I racked my brain for ideas. Glancing around, I noticed for the first time that a few of his teammates were fighting with us. They were all eyeing me warily and watching Steve expectantly when suddenly I had an idea.

"Cover me!" I shouted over the heavy artillery. Steve looked at me, as if asking if I knew what I was doing, and I met his glance briefly before I took off.

I ran as fast as I possibly could through the onslaught of bullets, jumping at the last second and using all my body weight to push a car straight into the group of agents. The metal made an awful screeching noise against the asphalt below it as it careened straight into the last remaining Hydra agents, pinning them beneath a few tons of twisted steel. I looked away, knowing that I may have killed one or two, and tried to ignore the nauseous feeling I got in the pit of my stomach. The area was suddenly dead silent, and I tried not to think about the literal meaning of that phrase.

A few moments later I felt a hand cautiously touch my shoulder, and I turned quickly at the contact.

"Thank you." Steve said quietly. I blinked, trying to briefly reorganize my extremely scattered mind, and nodded, again staying silent. I stared at his face, trying to sort through my memories of young Steve and present day Steve to make sure that his face was exactly how I had remembered it.

"I hope you know I'm not going to let you get away from me again," he then said quietly, emotion caked into his voice. "You don't have to run anymore, Buck. Come with us. You'll finally be safe."

I stared, shocked that he still wanted me by side after all the people I've killed and pain I've caused.

"You actually want me to come with you?" I asked, refusing to believe that he had just said that. Steve frowned slightly at the disbelief in my voice and nodded.

"Of course I do. Nothing that happened was your fault."

I sighed and shook my head, clenching my jaw before answering him.

"I know. But I still did it." 

I saw a small flash of hurt in his eyes, but I barely registered it before it was gone. I counted to three before he answered me.

"Please, Bucky."

I rubbed my jaw, considering my options, before suddenly remembering that Sarah was still on the edge of the woods. She was probably going out of her mind with worry. I thought of the last couple of days, in which I'd been shot at more times than I could count and spent half of my time running. As much as it terrified me to join up with Steve and his friends while Hydra is still after me, I know I can't keep going like this. Not if I want to survive. Not if I want to help Sarah survive.

"Ok," I sighed, suddenly overcome with exhaustion. "I'll go get my stuff."

I had a sudden flash of self doubt as I looked at him again- he was so selfless, risking his own safety to save a monster like me. I don't know why anyone bothered to care about me. I don't deserve anything. Not after all the misery I've caused.

Steve didn't acknowledge the nervous edge to my voice and simply smiled.

"We'll be here."

---

A few minutes later I was crashing through the woods, heading to the grove of trees I left Sarah. Looking around, I knew this was where we had stopped, but her familiar mop of blonde curls was nowhere to be found.

"Sarah?" I called, a feeling I didn't recognize burning in the pit of my stomach. I grew unexpectedly anxious.

All of the sudden I saw a flash of green out of the corner of my eye, and her eyes came into view, dark with concern. She stepped out from behind a tree and stopped a few feet from me.

"What took you so long? I thought for sure you got hurt," She breathed, looking relieved. 

"There were a lot of Hydra agents there. I couldn't let them get away," I replied, not telling her the whole truth. But she was far more observant than I realized and she didn't buy it.

"What really happened?" She asked, brows furrowed as she looked me in the eye. I could've easily lied, but for some reason I felt like she deserved the truth.

"Steve was at the fight," I said. She frowned slightly, as if thinking. I continued. "He asked if I wanted to go with him."

Sarah blinked, processing my words, before an emotion I didn't recognize flashed across her face.

"Are you going to?" She asked, her voice containing no emotion. I sensed a change in the atmosphere between us but I wasn't sure why.

"It....it feels right. I think I'm meant to be by his side," I replied, feeling a bit vulnerable. Her eyes were hard to read as she spoke again.

"Ok. I'll, uh, grab my stuff from the bag then.." She started, reaching down to unzip the duffel bag at her feet. I frowned in confusion.

"Why?"

"Well I'm sure you don't want to take all of my stuff with you..." She muttered, not looking at me as she began digging through our stuff. I leaned down and circled my hands around her wrists, pausing her efforts and forcing her eyes to meet mine. Her green irises continued to captivate me, although I would never, ever admit it.

"Sarah, I want you to come with me." I said, not letting go of her wrists just yet. She blinked in confusion at my words.

"Why would you want me to come with you?" She questioned. I tried to think of an answer that made sense rather than it just feels right, I can't explain it or I don't think I could bring myself to leave you.

"You're a good shot and I think you could be valuable," I decided to say. For some reason I felt like I was lying to her- like I wasn't telling her the whole reason why I wanted her to stay with me. "Are you in or not?"

Her face was again incredibly difficult to read as she seemed to ponder my question. She waited so long that I was just starting to worry that she'd say no, but then she finally replied with a simple, "yes."

I nodded, a small smile settling on my lips as I released her hands and stood up. I pulled the bag with me and hoisted it onto my shoulder, securing it so it wouldn't fall.

"You ready?" I asked, offering her a hand to pull her to her feet. She took it and rose from the ground, smiling widely at me before heading the way I had just come.

"Well we don't want to keep your best friend waiting, now do we?"