hello, this is chapter 1 re-posted! with the old chapter 2 added, as I aim to make every chapter 1000+ words meaning that I will have to put two chapters together,
next chapter Halloween, hopefully, if I get my act together.
I was falling. I looked at the rapidly increasing floor with neat cursive writing that seemed to be playing Catch Me If You Can by Runblebee on a jukebox. It was worrying that I could see the writing, as my glasses had fallen, no thanks to gravity. Meaning, oh crud.
I would brace myself, but the realisation that I was going to probably be squashed rekindled my fear of heights. You know the tagline of alien 'in space no-one can hear you scream.' Well, here's something similar. 'in dimensions you're falling into no-one can hear you scream because, guess what? You can't scream!' That sounded better in my head. Much better.
Anywhere where was I, oh yeah, falling. I was going to finally.... Oh, I didn't die. Huh. And of course I was floating because of course I was in a dimension which gravity didn't work and I was falling, then floating.
I looked down at the clear floor cursive, hoping to get some information, instead I got narration.
Jack stopped falling, and started floating, though he didn't find it much better, he looked at the floor, as if expecting answers. I was just waiting for the floor to say something un-funny and snarky like, well tough luck, because he wasn't getting anything! LOL! Of course as, over the last However-Long-I-had-been-having-my-terrible-luck-which-i-don't-count-as-an-adventure. I really need to find a better title for it, how about my whole life? Yeah that works, I didn't get what I expected. The words didn't change. I couldn't move. Why did I feel paralysed? 'because you can't move dummy.' I told myself, ah that made sense. Then, wham! I could walk, weird moment of the day, I walked ten steps and I couldn't walk, again. 1...2...3. that was really annoying, the cursive on the floor said, Jack walked ten steps, then unfortunately, stopped moving! He was annoyed by this... my life was being narrated by giant cursive writing that I just happened to be walking on, meh, I had fought a giant robot thing that released black dust, been talking to a sentient speck of dust in my head, fallen to crazytown and surprisingly, lived. That wasn't that weird, compared to the rest of my life it was oddly normal, and, despite from the fact it changed and meant I could possibly fall to my death any moment was not annoying. I stopped moving for 5 seconds, now that could be very annoying.
Just to add to the weirdness of my life, my left arm was healed. Now, I was no fast healer, I had a scab from when I was five on my elbow that, when I was 12, was still there (okay, that may be slightly because I occasionally, when I was bored, picked it off.) so, it actually weirded me out more than well, anything else that had happened to me in the last.... sometime. I lifted it, not broken. Then I fell. Again.
I was facing backwards, watching the cause of me falling, the cursive changing, if whoever was writing it found it funny, it didn't show it as it just said, Jack Willisy was falling... no, again, no, he found it odd, or LOL, nothing. Except boring writing and you wonder why I don't read suspense books.
People surfing while falling is probably something you never expect to see, however, this is my life, so I expected it, well, not that in general, just something very, very, impossibly weird. He had long hair, it went down to the sky? Seriously! What Is Wrong with this dimension?! He had dark-purple skin, he had sucky fingers and strange puffy lips, he wore nothing. That I'm skydiving with a naked... thing, odd? I don't think so.
"wooooohoooooobhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" the naked thing yelled. "Nothinnnnnn' like aaaa trip to mars by fallllllllingggggggggg to start the hbsh9uw!"
"Mars?"
Now, where was I, oh yes, falling with an anti-gravity-haired, purple, naked surfer dude. Yeah that about covers it.
"yah braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Marsssss, y'know, blue planetttttttttttttttttttttt, place where humans liveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, howwwwwwwwwww yyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaa ainttttttttttttttttttttttttt knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww thattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII haveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee nooooooooooooooooo ideaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" just to add, we were falling at that time, but, falling didn't effect speech, I guessed he just liked stretching his words. I looked at the floor, if it could be called that. The so-called floor was just swirls of colours, red was spinning in a diagonal, almost hypnotic style, blue was slowly passing red, it was in a spherical-like shape, orange seemed to spell words?
The anti-gravity-haired, purple, naked surfer dude, grabbed my hand, "holddddddddddddddd onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn tigggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt dudeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, werrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee lannnnnnnnnnnnnndinnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!" he tugged me, man, that guy was stronger than he looked. He thrusted me up with his hands until I was on his back, he then jumped on his surfboard (okay... he now has a surfboard- how had I not noticed that?) with me on his back. Then I screamed.
I stopped screaming. Then I saw more cursive.
The multiverstary death devise. death device? What had Mucus done since I had battled him in the portal room? I didn't know. I hadn't fallen with the turbo; he could have it! Panicking inside, I read on. Fell away as Jack and....
Crash!
The anti-gravity-haired, purple, naked surfer dude stood up, and brushed himself up. "whew brah," he exhaled, "don't bend over my head like that!" I would have replied, but I was in a very uncomfortable position. And I mean uncomfortable. My legs were bent over my head, which last time I checked, physically impossible. He then pulled my legs down, until they were straight. He said, "this is why, if ya on a surfboard brah, ya don't learn brah, you almost fell of, brah!" I made a face and was dragged up.
I stared at what I saw. They were ugly. And bony, with highly un troll-like hands with all sorts of criss-crossed little lines, before the either bony and ugly fingers were four stupid-looking bumps, one before each finger. Their faces had strangely positioned eyes and noses. Maybe I was finding faults, or maybe, just maybe, I was starting to prefer trolls to humans.
The anti-gravity-haired, purple, naked surfer dude stretched his neck and whispered some gibberish about some annoying itch on his bum, I did not want to hear that so I did what any sane person would do, put their fingers in their ears. In my position, some of you would probably walk off at this point. You people would have gotten lost in around a minute. If you had a guide, like I did, there was a slight difference of not being eaten by bunny rabbits. Yes, bunny rabbits.
The anti-gravity-haired, purple, naked surfer dude then proceeded to yank my fingers out of my ears. And gave me a lecture on how stupid I was putting my fingers in my ears and how putting fingers in ears instantly caused you to explode. This world did not like logic. I pointed at the blank-looking, still –standing-non blinking, stupid looking humans. "first of all, where are We?!" I ask-yelled at the The anti-gravity-haired, purple, naked surfer dude.
"I told ya brah Marsss............OH MY FLUPPIES!"
I turned around and instantly wished I didn't.
