Release Me

24

The water, brushing against my ankles is a pinkish-red from Hunter's blood. Derek asked me, before we went to bury Hunter if I would like to shower, I refused.

But now here I am, standing under the showerhead, warm water washing over my body which is crusted in blood.

I sink down in the tub, hugging my knees to my chest, and rock back and forth like a rocking chair. Tears roll down my cheeks, falling into the water below.

"Hunter," I moan, tugging on my hair. It hurts, but I don't care, I need the pain to consume me.

Before I know it, my long nails are digging into the soft flesh on the back of my wrists. It makes me cry out in pain, as my own blood joins Hunter's.

The pain relieves me.

I finally pull myself out of the tub and change into the darkest hospital gown and pants I can find, covering up the scratches I just gave myself.

I then bury myself under my blanket. Just two nights ago Hunter laid here right beside me. Rolling over onto my stomach, I press my face into the pillow and begin to sob.

My parents' death left me shattered, Summer broken, and Hunter... Hunter killed me.

I never really thought about it before, that one's body can possess a sure heck of a lot of tears. I end up crying until my eyes burn and my throat screams for me to stop.

"Alice?" I can sense Derek hovering near my bed.

I ignore him, burying my face deeper into my pillow. He eventually goes, leaving me alone to do my grieving.

...

I haven't left my room for three days now, not that I even have the choice to leave. My room is now my prison, keeping me here until my fate is sealed by those in charge.

Derek has been bringing me all my meals. To be honest, I hardly touched them. My appetite and thrill for food are no more.

"Alison, you need to eat." Derek enters the room, holding a tray piled with food.

I shake my head weakly. "I'm not hungry."

"I'm giving you no choice this time." He sits down on the bed beside me. "I'll feed you if I have to."

I growl at him. "Leave me alone."

He grabs hold of my wrists and I grimace in pain.

"What in the world?" He glances down at them. My sleeves rolled up a bit, my bloody wrists visible. "What have you done?" He looks into my eyes, his full of sympathy.

I look away. "The pain helps me."

"That's messed up. You shouldn't be hurting yourself." He touches my scratches lightly, sending warmth up my arms.

I pull my hands away from his. "Leave me alone," I repeat.

"Not in your wildest dreams. I'm sorry, but you need to eat and get out of bed. Dr. Jeffery's going to kill you otherwise."

"I don't care. Let him kill me. I have no reason to live anymore anyways." My voice is full of loss, just like how I feel.

"You have a brother Danny, who's waiting for you to return home to him."

"Well let him continue waiting since I doubt I'll ever be released from this dreadful place."

"Actually, President White and Dr. Jeffery are debating on releasing you, but only if you can prove to them that you can get over your depression and control these emotions of yours.

You only have twelve more hours to show them that you're strong. And Alison, I know you have it in you." He gazes intently into my eyes and I look away."You have to let him go." His voice is hardly audible.

A tear escapes. "This isn't like Summer. I can't let Hunter go, I loved him."

"I know and he loved you too. And you won't forget him; you'll just let him stop causing you pain."

"I can't Derek, I can't!" I yell, my hands balling into fists.

"Yes, you can," he says calmly while grasping my shoulders.

I push him away. "Give me those twelve hours."

He nods. "I'll be back then."

I watch him leave the room.

Alice. I turn to the food he left for me, my stomach growling, begging me to feed it. Eat us, it calls to me. My fingers curl around the handle of the fork.

The food is the best I've eaten in the past few months. I finish all of it.

I then lay back on the bed, staring up at the whitewashed ceiling.

You have to let him go.

But I can't, not when I loved him. Not when I was ready to give him everything.

You have to let him go.

No, don't make me do this. Just leave me alone already. I let out a yell of anguish, punching the stark white wall beside me, causing my knuckles to bleed and leaving a red smear along the white paint.

Just let him go, Alice. Look what he's making you do. For goodness sake, you're causing harm to yourself.

Hunter's handsome face appears before me, his chocolate brown eyes sad.

"Hunter," I choke reaching for him, but he's not really there. It's just my mind messing with me, conjuring a memory of him to haunt me.

LET HIM GO ALICE!

Closing my eyes, I release him.