Fifty Shades Darker:Grey Eyes

Broken Fifty..

"Mommy?"
I look around but she is nowhere to be found Until I hear a cry I look over for my mom and see the mean man hitting her....oh no mommy is crying....I realize the man is starting to look for me "Little shit? Where are ya?!" I run down to a close table and hide under there
I hear his boots hit the floor
I hover my body as small as I can so he wont see me
He bends over with a sinister grin
He smells nasty
Of cigar and a weird liquid that I remember seeing him drink
"There you are ya little shit!" He pulls down to grab me and I scream as he starts hitting me with the belt as he did with mom,mommy steps out crying 'mommy help me' the words wont cone out of my mouth,mommy just stands their as I continue shouting and crying for help she is letting the mean man hit me the man stops and leaves as my mom runs over to me and hugs me,she picks me up and I flinch a bit "Goodbye Christian" she says drinking water,I want some to but she drops it until it breaks and her eyes close,
Hours later mommy is still sleeping
And I touch her to feel her cold stiff skin that makes me shiver,I run into my small room and find my favorite blanket and put it over mommy so she isn't cold,"Mommy Im hungry,can I eat?" "Mommy Mommy"

My nightmares have been coming back
Shit!
'This reminded me of happy times...-Ana' fuck....shes gone! Really gone....
Ever since. she left I haven't shaved...showered...eaten which is really fucking unusual! Her words still haunt me... "Ive fallen in love with you..." she said,what...no it's wrong...how could anyone ever love me? Im a fucked up bastard....god I still remember her beautiful face....It was tear stained and puffy....I hate that im the reason she was Crying,I remember her saying "Im not what you want..." God how could she ever think that?! Fuck Grey you really messed up.....You know what.....
I grab the key to the red room and walk quickly to the red room and unlock it picking up all the canes and belts,especially the fucking belts...I run down to the great room and throw all the canes and Belts and all the shit I used to punish women,into the fire

I did it for my Ana...I walk back to my room,I look in the mirror,oh god I look like shit....

I go into the restroom and shave not missing a spot,damn it I still look like shit....

I need to go to Flynn....

I get my athletic clothes on and head down to the great room to run into Mrs Jones "Gail?" I ask as she stops in her tracks she focuses on nothing but my face,damn it I know I look shit...but no need to stare "Do you..mind sending flowers to Miss Steele?" I ask in a soft voice which im surprised is mine..."Yes Mr Grey...What kind of flowers?" She asks,Fuck I don't know anything about Flowers....I have never had to-Wanted to do the whole fucking Heart shaped chocolates-and the flower kind of shit...."Something that resembles 'In sorry that I hurt you im not very fucking good at love will you take me back?' " she stares at me,Fuck Gail work with me "Maybe some white roses would be nice,They do resemble forgiveness..." She says nodding "Ok Those will do" I say walking over to the kitchen to see a omelet from Gail,God what is with me....I don't feel like eating,Oh my how I remember Ana she was very stubborn when it came to eating,Fuck it! Ill get a banana

I rush outside as the stormy and grey Seattle reminds me of my mood,The cold rain starts to drench my clothing as I finally stop outside of Ana's apartment I look at her window,It looks dark and the curtains are just sitting there I wonder what she's doing...Is she as broken as me? Is she Out with Kate talking about me?! Ohhh shit! She is probably in there fucking some other guy!!! No no What if its the fucking photographer?! That fucker!
I continue to walk my mood not changing

I arrive at Flynn's office,And just walk in to see him on his computer, his eyes shoot towards me "Christian?" He asks "yes" I say rolling my eyes I don't have time for this! I sit down on the chair as my cold and wet sweater starts dripping down onto the chair "Flynn?I think I have a fucking problem!" I say
"I can see that...." bastard.

"Christian are you ok? You look like-" I cut him off "Damn it I know I look like shit!" He raises his brows "Are you gonna tell me why...?" He says "YES OF COURSE!" He nods signaling me to continue "Well I met this girl.." I mumble "Was she your sub?" He asks "Not really...she never signed the contract....She was more of my girl...gir-" Dare I say it "Girlfriend..." I finish,He writes down on his notepad "Was their sex involved?" What the fuck kind of question is that?! "Yes." I say firmly,where is he going with this "So?whats the reason you look like shit?" Bastard.
"She left." I say dryly
He freezes before writing it down he's probably writing:
•met a girl
•was more of a girlfriend than sub
•Looks like shit
•She left
•I feel bad for this mother fucker...
Bastard.
"Christian....you've had different subs that left....What...is-" I cut him off again "She was different...."
"She had a fucking smart mouth"
That I wish was on mine right now....
He writes down
"She met my mother,She-" he cuts me off "Wait? She met your mother?"
"Yeah..." "Thats a first...."
no fucking duh!
He continues writing
"Why did she meet your mother?While for others you would lock them away"
I sigh "I wanted my mother to meet her..."
"Because.....?"
Bastard.
"Because I wanted her to be proud of me..."
"Because?"
Bastard.
"Ana is something to be proud of"
"Ana?"
Oh shit I didn't say her name ever...
"Anastasia Rose Steele"
God those words feel so nice twisting on my tongue
He writes down
"Anything else"
"She left."
"Why?"
Fuck me....
"I hit her with the belt "
He raises a brow
"I thought she wasn't your sub?"
I sigh "she wanted it..."
His brows shoot up
"She wanted more....I tried...but Im fucked up so I couldn't stand being touched...."
"She asked me to show her the worst...."
My eyes nearly pool up
Shit.
"Woah..."
I know right?!
"What else was so different about her"
"Well she was a virgin..."
he gasps
"And she told me after I showed her my red room" (also known as my fucked up world)
He writes down
"I was mad..."
"At her?"
"No at myself"
"Why?" He writes down
"For introducing her into my fucked up world....i Just assumed a beautiful young lady would have had sex before..."
God she was so innocent and beautiful....
"And then what?"
"I showed her..."
"Showed her what"
Damn it Flynn!
"I showed her how to fold laundry..." I say sarcastically
"Damn it I showed her what....making love is"
"Thats also a first"
Fucking duh!
He writes down
"I didn't know you knew how to make normal love...."
"I don't."
"I just showed her the best I knew"
"Based on all these notes"
What?!
"In actually considering getting her back by starting a vanilla relationship...." I say stunning him as he writes more down
"You my friend are in love...." he says
Love?
Love?
Love?!
Shit.
I am
In
Love!