Better Sorry than Safe

Glimpses of the Future 3

"Love you too," Blake replied sweetly. "It's for your own good you know."

After thinking it over for a brief moment, Nick nodded, agreeing with Blake.

The traitor. Both of them, traitors.

Still, there was absolutely nothing Sem could do about it. His legs were jello, and his world turned. He could hardly even walk without help, let alone get home. He had no choice but to wait for ex-boyfriend, and let him haul his sorry drunk ass home.

Nick and Blake kept him awake, slapping his cheek or shaking his shoulders every now and then and bringing him water, until Nick finally exclaimed: "There's Connor!"

Blinking his eyes open, Sem saw one of the weirdest things he'd ever seen and probably was going to see in his life: Connor approaching a nightclub.

There really was just no other way to describe it than weird as fuck. Connor was all stiff, straight-backed, and marching towards him like man on a mission. He turned lots of heads as he went. Sem wasn't sure it was because Connor looked so comically serious and not like a party-goer at all, or because he was absolutely smoking hot. Maybe both.

When Connor reached Sem's side, Nick and Blake were inexplicably gone. Sem hadn't seen them leave at all. They weren't just traitors. They were cowardly traitors.

Connor shoved his hands in his pants pockets, awkwardly raising his shoulders. "Hey again," he greeted Sem.

"Hi," Sem replied, equally awkwardly. This was so embarrassing. Him totally shitfaced in front of his ex-boyfriend. He couldn't believe Connor was seeing him like this.

"Well..." Connor broke the silence again, positioning himself next to Sem. "Are you coming? Here, let me help."

"O-okay..."

Sem didn't protest as Connor helped him up, couldn't help but be hypnotised by Connor's face near his. And by his gentle voice, warning him to mind his step whenever the pavement was uneven.

After they reached the car, Connor went silent and Sem allowed his eyes to droop closed again. He really wasn't feeling well. That mix of beer and shots messed him up, and tomorrow morning would be even worse. Not necessarily because of the alcohol, but mostly because he'd wake up at Connor's place. That was a whole different kind of hangover. An ex-boyfriend hangover. Those were the worst.

"Sem? Are you still awake?" Connor asked, making Sem murmur in response, letting him know he was awake without opening his eyes.

Connor exhaled audibly. "This would have been easier to say if you hadn't been awake. But I don't know if you'll remember this tomorrow morning anyway. I..." He paused. "I wanted you to know I missed you too."

"You wouldn't have to miss me if you'd actually given me any attention," Sem mumbled. "Instead of working non-stop, and accepting every project that took even more time away from us."

Connor stayed quiet for a while after that. "I'm not taking on more work now," he then finally answered.

Sem cracked one eye open, finding Connor watching the road as he drove. "I'm sure your next boyfriend will be very happy about it," he said.

The corners of Connor's lips went down. He gripped the wheel a little tighter.

"You already have a new boyfriend yourself?" Connor asked. He did his best to sound, well, not overly interested. And anyone who didn't know him would've fallen for the cool facade. But Sem did know him. And he couldn't help but grin at his curiosity.

"No. No new boyfriend at the moment. I wasted a lot of time trying to find another you, and failing miserably," Sem admitted, happily stealing Blake's lines because his brain was too muddled and out of order to come up with his own witty remarks. "Turns out most guys aren't like you."

"That's funny. I figured there'd be enough socially stunted workaholics walking around for you to pick from," Connor dryly replied.

Sem burst out laughing, but quickly had to cover his mouth with his hand as he burped and then swallowed to prevent stuff he didn't want to rise from traveling up.

"You okay?" Connor asked, and Sem nodded even though he was getting more nauseous in the car. All those turns didn't help any.

"What about you?" Sem continued the conversation, trying to get his mind off of his upset, churning stomach. "A boyfriend?"

"No," Connor simply replied, without elaborating further.

Secretly, Sem was happy Connor wasn't dating anyone else. It was totally irrational of course, but the green jealousy monster still popped up at the thought of someone else touching Connor.

"Really?" Sem pressed. "No cute, nerdy guys to meet during one of your many working hours?"

"Not my type. I like athletic guys with motor mouths."

Connor was still watching the road with his serious pokerface on while Sem stared at him. What was Connor trying to say? That he still had feelings for him?

"Huh," Sem said, his head suddenly spinning even harder. There were some black spots in his vision, and he had to swallow an excess of saliva. "It's the opposite for me. Nerdy workaholics are my type."

There were just too many problems that came with them. Connor was at school, or working at the garage all the fucking time. Often until 2 am, despite not even having a night shift. When Sem wanted some attention at home, sometimes he had to literally slip his hand in Connor's pants. Then, Connor had accepted that project together with Queenswright, which would require him to be away even more without asking or telling him, and that'd been the final straw.

But... whenever they were together, Connor always let himself get seduced sooner or later. Let himself get pushed onto the bed. In the summer, after a long workday, his skin had tasted salty like Sem was tasting salt in his mouth now.

Had he given up on Connor too soon? How many ex-boyfriends, who he'd screamed at to go choke on motor oil and die, would still pick up his sorry drunk ass from a nightclub and take him into their home? Fuck, he still loved the guy so much, and his blotched vision was getting worse.

"Sem?" Connor's voice vaguely penetrated through the foggy haze that was his brain. "Are you sure you're okay? I'm gonna stop the car."

Sem squeezed his eyes shut. "No, no, I'm okay. I need to tell you something important," he grumbled. "Connor." Sem forced his eyes open one more time, and found Connor looking at him rather than at the road. Finally.

"I love you."

Sem's stomach turned. Something was rising. Oh, shit. He bent forward, hands bracing against the dashboard. And then an unstoppable torrent of sludge exited his mouth and spilled onto the lovely car carpet.