Beautiful Lorien

Connected - Jadam

He reflected his short life in the realm of romance on exactly month eighteen of the new world order. It was a year and six months(five months and twenty two days, more precisely) since Setrakus Ra met his end; it was a year and a half since the day his body was branded with countless thick, purple marks and his mind with endless weeks of nightmares.

Four used to remember simpler times to ease himself; but now, he didn't have to calm himself down from the horrific visions or the shivers.

Now. He recapped it all with the intention to finally go on.

The first time he kissed someone, his name was Daniel Jones and she was Tara, the most beautiful girl he'd ever laid eyes on. Truthfully, she was the only girl he let himself even look at. Their shared circle of vague friends laughed and cheered around them, lost in their own happiness.

Four wasn't allowed to make a lot of friends; friends could be casualties when you were the last of your own kind. But, he still did. He just kept them at a distance.

It was the only time he'd ever gone to a party. He always had to make excuses, claim sickness or family for reasons why he was trapped in his shack near the beach.

Four didn't kiss her on the lips, just brushed his own against the soft skin of her cheek while his ankle screamed in the radiant pain that told him that he would once again be running from the person he was trying to become.

He didn't want to count it as a kiss, but it was the first time he lit his nerves on fire enough to finally lean in and taste what affection could be like. What his life in Florida could have been like if he wasn't a Garde on a suicide mission.

The second time he kissed someone, his name was now John Smith and Sarah Hart was radiant in ways he could never imagine. She was kind, fierce, and serene all at once; she held Paradise, Ohio in the tight grip of her hand without realizing it and Four adored it. He adored her so much; perhaps it would prove to be even too much.

Technically, Sarah had kissed him first. He saved her and his friends from a routine bullying incident led by an ex boyfriend. Sarah had far more courage than Four could ever hope to earn in his lifetime, despite all that would happen after this sweet moment amongst two people in the woods learning about their feelings.

Sarah Hart couldn't be held at fault for all of the things Four would put himself through while she lived. Sarah existed while Four crumbled away without her every sweet embrace or knowing word. Sarah wanted to become her own person alongside of Four while he was driven mad with his only wishes to keep her safe and out of the way of the dangers his lifestyle would bring.

He'd lost his Cepan going after Sarah Hart. He'd almost lost Sam and his own freedom returning to her in Paradise. He'd almost gotten himself killed fighting for her memory to have a future with him; he almost died out of fear of having to spend his life without her.

Without his vision of her.

Four felt he loved Sarah enough to call her his one and only for the rest of his days. She was to be his one for life that he, a member of Lorien, could only have based around the old rules. She brought out the awakening stages of his hidden strengths. Without her, he was unsure how far his Legacies would have developed.

Without her, Four realized late, he wasn't sure he would have known just how much of his life he'd replaced with her. How much he would have given up for her.

Love itself can be pure but the souls behind a romance do not realize what it else it can do.

How secluded and altered would have Four's life been like had Sarah Hart survived the war? Sarah Hart brought out much in him but even he knew he'd lost too much with their relationship. He'd taken from her during their time together.