"Eins... Zwei... Drei..." I count the people waiting for their treatment. The clock then strikes the hour, chiming the Hymn of the Fatherland: Deutschland Uber Alles!
"Molly?" I ask aloud and a little girl being escorted by her mom walk up to me, "Oh, how sveet? You're gong to admire mein generosity." I escort the girl to a chair and open her medical files as she gets settled.
According to her record: she's eight, had a few filings, and future plans for braces. Certainly we can start molding her mouth. "I'll let mein dummkopfs take care of your check-up." I place the clipboard onto the table and move into the next neighboring room.
Laying on the table is an older male figure with brownie hair and eyes. He is mein longest visiting patient, about three years now. "Long time no see, jah?" I ask as I place my foot on the button to lower him down in his chair.
"Uh... yah." he nervously responds as he shifts in his chair.
From the glove box, I draw a pair and put them on, releasing the bottom as to slap it on.
"You're not going to have me bend over and cough are you?" he notices my enthusiastic grin and gives a concerning glance.
"Oh, nein, nein. Just inspect your mouth viss a vonderfool azzortment of meat hooks und cavity inspections." I pick up the hook and look over it. A shiny reflection showed my face from the slender tool. "Now open vide."
"Well, here goes nothing." he sighs.
"Iz zat vut your date says each time you ask zem out?" I place the mask over mein mouth.
"Hey!" he snaps.
"Quiet, schweinhund. I'm operating." I start by scraping away at the plaque build up...
~~~~~~~~~
After the checkup, James took over with mein patient, so I look after Molly, now that she's finished, "Now zen little frauline. It appears you have a cavity." I point out the dot on her x-ray, "I cannot vait for your return. Ve'd jab with zeh novocaine und your face vill feel like jelly!" I enthusiastically point out.
"Momma, what's novocaine?" Molly asks her mother.
"It's a giant horse needle that pierces into the gums!" I respond before her mom could.
"Schmarotzer! You're wanted elsewhere!" one of mein dummkopfs call out.
"Ah!" I groan, "Vut is los!?" I holler back angrily. She ruined mein moment!"
"James needs you!"
"Dummkopfs..." I mutter as I leave this post and head down the hallway. That's when I heard a clap for some reason, like a high-five.
Seeing the sunset from the windows means this carousel is nearly over. Then I can return home to mein dear Helga and not worry about patients and dummkopfs. It's like an OCD when their inferior skills operate.
"I'm here," I announce as I enter, "Vut is los?"
"Just an examination is all," James responds.
"Oh, gut." I look into the patient's mouth as expanders were placed between tight, crammed spaces. "Gut." I claim as blood drips from the space. "Floss more," I nag as I leave the room behind.
There's always this satisfaction when I give zeh treatment to mein patients. Today however, something was wrong: I usually do treatment more often than peasant inspections. Clearly, I'd have to find the source. But not right now. I have mein wife to look after, as well as mein own life.
YOU ARE READING
Dentistreason
HumorA comedic tale of a modern-day dentist clinic called, "Schnitzel Dental Care." It follows the story of Heinkel Schmarotzer and his employee's loony adventures. This is an old work of mine from high school & is a great comedy for those with repressed...
