That Time | m.y.

That Time

RINGGGGGGG

"Class is dismissed!" The teacher said loudly before the muttering of the class started.

I gazed out the window, ignoring the noisy sound of moving chairs. It was peculiar that a 13 year old such as myself was lost in thought. Thinking of things even adults wouldn't care to think about. What is the purpose of life? I asked myself. I wondered why I was still alive. I wasn't depressed or anything; I was just curious. Uncontrollably curious. The question had lingered in my mind for years but I had never found an answer. 

I gradually closed my eyes as I was welcomed by silence. It was just me in the classroom, just me and my thoughts. Once it was completely silent, I slightly smiled with my eyes still shut. That only lasted until I heard the faint noise of water dripping. The noise was increasing, louder and louder. An overwhelming smell entering my nose. My eyes fluttered open to heavy rain. I inspired the smell. Inhale...exhale. 

I stood up, sighing. Sauntering through the empty halls of the school. I was looking forward to the gentle tap of  rain crashing onto my body. The closer I got to the outside, the more it would seem like I was the only person left in the world. The moment I stepped outside, the moment the rain touched me, the moment I was surrounded by the rain; was the moment of freedom. 

Ambling, I reached the sidewalk and waited for the cars to stop. My fixed gaze was on the puddle below me. Kneeling down, I placed my hand on the surface of the puddle. Slightly hovering above the puddle, close enough to touch the water. The tingling sensation I had when I touched it made me happy. Though it was a different kind of 'happy'. It was my definition of happy.

I was gazing at how the water undulated. I was focused on the rhythm until another hand appeared beside mine. It was pale and quite big, it was also hovering over the water. My eyes shifted to the hand and eventually, they shifted higher to the owner of the hand. A man. Fairly young. He had a straight face, he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were fixed on the puddle near his feet. Or I could say the puddle near our feet. I continued to stare at him, examining the features of his face. He didn't budge, he didn't mind. Why did he seem so...emotionless?

"Why do we live?" He asked me, not even making eye contact. I knew it was a rhetorical question. Because I knew he didn't know the answer and he definitely knew that I didn't have one. I turned back to look at the puddle.

"I don't think there is." I said honestly in a very quiet and low tone, enough for him to hear. We were both hopeless, searching for the reason to live when I don't think there was.

"There is." He said in a taciturn manner. I thought he was just a hopeless person who was looking for something he knew didn't exist. However, I decided to play along with him. Not because it was fun or anything. But because I was that person.

"You found it?" We still hadn't made eye contact, we were both staring at our hands and the water in contact.

"No." His tone raised slightly. "But I know it's there." 

"You have no proof." I felt a little peeved, maybe because I knew it was silly for him to believe that but also because I believed that.

"Don't stop looking." I could then feel his sudden heavy stare on my wet hand. "You should go home or you'll get sick." It was then when his hand disappeared from my sight. My head snapped to look at him but before I knew it, he was already gone. Disappointed, I chuckled.

"No. You're the one who'll get sick."