For those I love...

Family dinners.

Everything seemed to freeze in the darkness, I could almost count the particles floating in the air. Swallowing a lump in my throat a sob struggled to break to the surface. It was like my reality warped into a scary movie, and I was the one who didn't survive.

My legs began to wobble as I grasped for support, through my struggles I found Christine's hand reminding me that she was here. The light flickered on, illuminating my father's drunken face. His shirtless chest heaved as he boiled in anger, nostrils flared, and spit flying for his gaping mouth. His gaze drifted from me, then morphed into a icy calmness as his eyes pondered onto christine.

"Chandler" Christine's whisper ripped through the air like a bullet "chandler!" her voice now cutting through my mind, severing the ties between reality and a dream.

"dad..." I mumbled "I missed you" I said ignoring Christine's pleas for closure. I smiled sheepishly trying to piece back together a broken night. But, to my avail, his glare remained the same.

Christine put a firm hand on my shoulder, recognizing that the situation just became very real to her. I felt a storm of guilt begin to claim my stomach, I should have warned her. I should have told her, my stupidity put her into danger.

My father's face seemed to be in a freeze frame, like he couldn't comprehend what was going on. And I knew the alcohol couldn't be helping.

I was ready to plead for mercy when finally my dad spoke "I see you have a friend Chandler" his voice drawled and snapped like a whip. He smiled, and I cringed.

"it's cold outside girl, why don't you invite her in?" he continued to grin. "I know with all that time away, you planned a nice dinner." he paused for a moment as if pondering his drunken thoughts "she should stay for dinner". His eyes glanced toward Christine. "come on in sweetheart, I don't bite"

She let go of my hand and stepped into the light. I could see the worry etched across her face, and the tension floating from her body.

"state your name" he continued to grin

"Christine" she mumbled.

"Welcome christine, join us for dinner?" he put on his most proper voice even though his tongue was swimming in alcohol.

"hope you been taking care of my babygirl" he put a limp arm around my shoulders, then squeezed until I flinched. Christine's gray eyes flinched over to where I was standing meekly, and her eyes narrowed.

"I would love to" she smiled bitterly.

His arm dropped from my throbbing shoulder and looked at her intently. As if sizing her up, I cleared my throat and they both looked at me.

"I'll get the pasta started..." I trailed off

My dad clapped his hands together and grinned even wider "great!" his voice boomed and slurred "you know chandler's a great cook" he enunciated every word. Assaulting the air with the whiskey on his breath.

Christine flinched "I did not" she glanced at me "chandler, why don't you show me some of your secrets?"

I nodded "okay" I smiled weakly.

I shrugged off my sweatshirt and stalked into the kitchen. My father slunk into his chair, and closed his eyes.

The lights flickered on, my eyes ached as the adjusted to it. I grabbed the knife, and chopping board.

Then fingers grazed my waist, my hand gripped around the knife.

"chandler.." Christine whispered "it's just me"