The Reasons Why I Love You

You told me to forget. But how could I forget when I love you so much? How could I forget all of the beautiful memories we shared? How could I forget those precious laughs? The talks late at night? How could I possibly forget about us?

It was out of the blue; Unexpected. It really took me by surprise, and I think that’s why it was so difficult to let go. You told me that it was because of something created by the fans. Something named Larry Stylinson. You told me it wasn’t real, Lou. You said that you had no feelings for your band mate Harry. And I know that it was true. I know that you would never lie to me, Louis. But you said that once, a fan yelled, “Stop cheating on Eleanor with Harry!” And that’s when it hit you. You felt as if you were betraying me, even though I had never sensed it. You said that soon it was unnatural to be with me, because of the guilt it caused you. Being with you always felt natural to me, but I’m not as into the media as you are. So now we’re over. We’re broken up. But I still love you, and there will always be a place in my heart for you, Louis Tomlinson. If you ever need a hug, or after a heartbreak, come to Eleanor. Come and I will love you like I always have. And there are reasons that I love you, Lou. The reasons why I will always love you.

Your smile. I remember the first time I saw it. You were with Phoebe, pushing her on the swings at the park, laughing and smiling together. That bright, wide smile that reflected onto my own face every time I saw it on yours. Once we started getting close, that smile was sometimes for me… and it would make my stomach flutter inside. I would smile back quickly, but then turn away so that you wouldn’t see my face blushing a deep red. But when I turned back, every time, there you were, grinning a toothy, knowing smile. When we started dating, you would smile at me like I was the best thing in the world, and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. I adored the feeling of being loved by you, and that’s one of the many reasons that I will always love you.

Your warmth. You’re a naturally friendly person, but it wasn’t just that. There was always something that I loved about you that I could never fully put my finger on. It was partially how you welcome me into your chaotic world of fame and fortune, but also the way that you treated me all the way up until the end. You had a way of lighting up the room, even at the worst of time. I remember how you would crack a joke, or give me a brisk kiss to relieve the tension of the situation. And it always worked.

Your hair. I don’t want to say too many physical traits about why I love you, because it was you that I loved, Louis, not just your looks. But your hair… oh that hair. Sometimes when you put your arm around me, I would ruffle my fingers through the messy brown tufts on top of your head, and I felt relaxed. In our crazy, upside down, superstar world… was it even possible to feel relaxed?

Your voice. I remember watching your X Factor audition. I was at my best friend’s apartment, and we were watching the auditions on the couch. I had always loved the show, and so had she. But when I saw you step onto that stage, who would have ever thought that I would ever be lucky enough to call you mine? You… wearing the tan cardigan, and black tie, back when your hair was long. And then you sang. And ever since I heard that sweet, soothing, gorgeous voice, I’ve been hooked on you. It was the devotion, the love, the character. Most singers seem fake to me. They seem unreal. Almost as if they are lying, singing about things they don’t understand. But you… all of your music came from your heart, Louis. And I can always feel it when I’m listening. Sometimes you would sing to me, and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. And honestly, I know that to have you, I definitely was.

Your hugs. I remember you hugging me, and I felt an instant sensation over my body. Something triggered something, and I felt calm. When you hugged me, Lou… Oh I knew that I didn’t deserve you. Once you embraced me, I felt loved. I felt beautiful. I felt amazing. I will never forget you hugging me, because it was the best feeling that I have ever had, and I can’t imagine a feeling better than that. Sometimes, you would softly whisper something in my ear as your delicate face rested on my shoulder. “You look beautiful,” you once said. And I remember that as if it was yesterday. ­­And I swear¸ I always will.

Your love for the girls. Lottie. Daisy. Felicite. Phoebe. Georgia. I remember once, when the family came to visit before you were awake. I was up and making breakfast, and the sweet girls knocked on the door, calling “Louis! Louis! We’re here!” I unlocked the door and let them in. Right away, they asked, “Where’s Lou?”I told them you were sleeping, and they ran into your bedroom before I could tell them not to wake you up. But they were already snuggling up next to you, tickling under your chin to wake up. I know that you’re not ticklish Lou. I already know that, but when they tickled you, you laughed and pretended as if you were. Just for them. You’re so loving and caring for those girls. I could see that you would do anything for them, just like you would do anything for me.

Louis Tomlinson. I loved you because you were mine. You were never Harry’s, no matter what the fans try to say, and I know because I felt it. I felt your love, Louis, and I loved you too. You were devoted to me, and for that reason, I will always be devoted to you, Louis. Those are the reasons why I will always love you.