almost every day i catch myself wishing life was different more and more. always telling others to be positive and to hang in there when they are alone and feel like they have nothing to live for. But yet i catch myself feeling these same negative feelings. of pain, regret, hopelessness and giving up. Feeling like i have nothing to live for. i put on a smile pretending its ok, but deep inside im hanging on by a thread. my heart aches when i think of myself. everything about myself i hate. all i wanted in life was to be loved and have someone make me feel like this life was worth it. but when you hear the things people truely think of you, you realize you were wrong. there is noone. noone who truely cares about you completely. do they even care you are alive? you spend hours to yourself staring in the mirror at your reflection hoping to find a reason to stay. you try convincing yourself you are worth something, but you know you arent at all. i sit here and think of all things i could do better. i try to be the best person i can be but yet i fall short of my own expectations. how am i ever to make someone else happy if i cant even make myself happy? i think to myself it would be better if i werent here. i am worthless, sad and disappointing. i have no worth. i thought i found someone who understood me and changed my life around, made me feel good and like i was important. but then they decide to tell you how they really feel and you see their true colors. they are just like everyone else. judging you, against you... i was a fool to think i could have found something so perfect, i knew i didnt deserve it, who was i fooling? i know im not worth anything. i am nothing. i will sit here for days sad and lonely on the inside,knowing i am alone... until one day i end it all myself.
