Drowning

#mindovermattercontest

It was 1st grade when my family lost there house for money issues.we had to move into a small apartment with 5 people living off of food stamps.I went to a new school with new people.I was so young and naïve,I thought that if I tried hard enough I could make new friends. So I hung out with everyone not really paying attention to what they said.

I stayed at that school for a year and a half.when we where stable enough I moved back to my old school in the last half of 2nd grade.

I still made the same mistake.

So elementary school passed and I made 2 amazing close friends ( lets call them d and k)

In 6th D,K and I where really close we did everything together.

Middle school opened a whole new world to me,a scary petrifying one.I then met a high scholar named T

We became close an I figured out T lived in my neighborhood,and had the same interest.

at this point this when I was taught about sexuality.T and D met and became close, so close they started to date

a good 5 months passed and I learned that K was depressed and cutting. I wanted to be a hero for my friend.

now we are taught that if someone is hurting, help and you will be rewarded.

So I told my mom, which she told K's dad. She and her dad talked about it in another room, while I was at her house. After I left K never talking to me. She never texted, emailed or called me to tell me what happened. I thought I was my fault she left me.

By this time T and D broke up. D was sad so she stayed the night,came on to me and kissed me.

T somehow figured this out and did the same thing as K.

These advents sent me into a depression and lead me to feel unwanted.

I tried to kill myself 2 times.

one I tried overdosing

the other one I was sitting on the edge of my roof about to jump. when my friend read my suicide text , called me, and told me she loved me and so did other people.

I'm so glad I listened to her even though I was broke from my ex friends. I still had other people in the background helping me, that I did not notice. even though I still sometimes get to a low at some points in my life, I still have my friends here by my side.

I still I believe there is good in everyone, you just have to dig little deeper. It's just sometimes you have to dig so deep you give up.

I guess I should have learned this before but, now I look back and say 'if this never happened I will not be the person I am today that people love'.