Im Dying, So Don't Fall In Love With Me

Chapter one

When your little, you have no problems or any responsibilities. Well you know that you want to help and that you want to show the world that you are older then you think you are. But when you mess everything up and make everyone not want to trust you, you start to not believe in yourself and you just don't want to try anymore. Well that's all happened to me and I wish that I never grew up I didn't think it was going to be this hard but it ended up being that hard. My name is Alice greenwood, I'm a senior in high school and this is my cry for help. I'm a big nobody and I just wish that this life was over. Here have a day in bmy life. I wake up every morning to my cat licking my face. And you may think well that ain't that bad well that's why waking up is one of my favorite parts of the day. I wake up everyday around 5 am and I first shower and listen to my music, and after my shower I do my makeup to cover all my bruises and scars that cover my body. As I do my make up I have to take my medicine that mother gives me. I brush my teeth before my lipstick I make sure to but my rubber bands in my braces. When I'm finished in the bathroom I go to my room to pick out an outfit that I can clean in. Before school everyday I have to get the dishes from everyone's after dinner midnight snacks, that I don't get to have. I clean the living room up from fast food restaurants I get the left overs of those. I take the dog out and the garbage cause it's Thursday and that's garbage day. I feed the bunny and the dog and my cat cinnamon, the only thing I love in this house. Today is the day I get my phone and computer back. I've missed my internet friends. They are the only people that are my friends beside my best friend angeleah she is the prettiest girl I have ever seen before. I can't be with her cause she is in love with this guy named kris. They have the cutest long distance relationship I have ever witnessed. Once the house is all cleaned I start to make breakfast and I start to wake up my siblings to take showers in their showers and tell mother to wake up as well. By the time that breakfast was all cooked everyone was waiting at the table. I seve everyone their special made breakfast. Maddie the youngest and might I add the spoiled one gets two egg sandwiches with toasted and buttered, and she gets orange juice. Matthew the middle child and trouble child gets three sandwiches with the yolks busted and the toast not toasted but buttered, and he gets milk, if I might add on him he is the pickiest eater ever. And mother get two the same as Maddie with orange juice and a shot of whiskey in it. Once everyone is served I go get dressed and I think I'll go to McDonald's on the way to school as of time I have to be to school in an hour and it's right down the street I think I'll eat in today. I tell mother I'm of to study at the library before school she lets me leave she has to live in 30 mins and she isn't dressed yet. I say to her "Can you get dressed please you have to leave?" " I will do it when I fucking want to leave little girl and don't be stubid like always and stay out of trouble." " I'll try no promises" " you better of you'll regret it! Did you take you're medicine with you." "No I forgot I'll get them and I'm leaving." "Okay." I get my pills I noticed that their is new ones for me I guess she got a refill. I'm suppose to take them before school after I eat, lunch, after school, after dinner and before I sleep. So I guess I needed more I take them all the time. The pills are suppose to help me focus and not talk out of place and it helps me be nice or I'll be a bitch. As I make my way to McDonald's on my bike. I get their and I lock my bike up " hey George, how's it hanging." I look over to the tables and see him sitting there. "Oh princess right on time I need your help on this peom." "Okay what do you need help with." He shows me the poem I read it over and I get teary, "George is this about me?" "Yes princess everyone wants to help you, you shouldn't live that way you can't tell me your not happy." But that is the thing those people I have to call a family can't live on their own they need me, so what if I'm treated awful I know that I can do better but they need me." I pause.."I can't let them be on their own they need me." "Princess you need help I can help you." "Thanks for the offer George but I want to stay the way I am." Now you are thinking you hate this you don't want this but, I didn't know then I was on those pills that make me love them but I know I didn't and I didn't want to live and I wanted help, but I couldn't say that cause I can't do that it won't be right. I walk to the counter inside "hello welcome to Mchell how may I help you." I look up and notice it was angeleah, "Hey love I didn't know you worked today." " I didn't have Polaris today so I decided to work a morning shift so I can buy more makeup." "Nice can I get my usual sandwich with a sweet tea." "Yes you can babe, that will be $5.00." I handed her a 5 bill. "Alright coming right up." She handed me my cup. I walked over to the drinks and I buy a lot of ice in the cup and put sweet tea in it. I put the lid and got a straw. I took a sip, this is my favorite drink. "Alice here's your food." I grabbed my sandwich. "Call me later we will chill goodbye I love you." I said to her and I went to sit down. I still had over and half hourish. I ate the sandwich in silence. I threw my trash out and I headed towards school.