Crushes and Denial (Mavin)

Chapter 5

"Gav go to sleep, I can hear your brain working." Michael mumbles and I bite my lip to stop a smile.
"Sorry boi. I'm just- I can't sleep." I whisper and I feel Michael roll over to face me.
"Gav?" He says softly and I roll over to face him.
"What're you worrying about?" He asks gently and I bite my lip because how am I gonna answer that? I'm just annoyed that I can't hug you or tell you I love you? Michael reaches out his index finger and taps my lip, so gently I can barely feel it but hard enough so I can notice how soft his hands are and how I think they would feel running across my skin.
"You should really stop doing that." He says, referring to the lip biting and I immediately release my bottom lip.
"What's wrong?" Michael asks gently and I sigh.
"I just can't sleep. It's nothing to worry about." I say and Michael frowns.
"Are you sure?" He asks, not sounding at all convinced.
"Yeah, it's just, when Dan stays we share a bed and he's like a security blanket cause he lays so close and I just got used to him being there even though it was only a few nights and I just-" I'm cut off by Michael putting his index finger over my lips.
"If I be a replacement Dan will you get some sleep?" Michael asks and I bite my lip, noticing Michaels gaze travel to my lips and staying there for a while. I nod quickly and Michael pulls me into a hug, my head resting on his shoulder with my arm across his stomach and his arms around my back and waist. I suddenly can't feel any part of my body because every part of me that's touching Michael is now buzzing and my entire body is pressed against his.
"You said you'd sleep boi." Michael says, even softer than before and I feel so much love for him that I'm half tempted to kiss him. I just nod slightly and close my eyes, falling asleep almost instantly.

Michael's POV

I wake up a few hours later to see Gavin sleeping peacefully on my chest. He looks just as peaceful as he did when he fell asleep a few hours ago. I get up carefully, slowly unwrapping my arms from Gavin, which takes a lot of will power because I just want to hug him forever, pull on a shirt and leave the room quietly. I walk to the bathroom closest to our bedroom, which we decided would be the lads bathroom, and clean my teeth before walking into the kitchen.
"Morning Michael." Lindsay says from her place at the breakfast bar.
"Morning Lindsay." I say, making a cup of coffee before joining her.
"So how was last night? I know you probably stayed up until god knows what hour in the morning." She says and I roll my eyes.
"Nothing happened Linds. Honestly. I just, well I fell asleep around midnight but I woke up a few hours later and Gav wasn't in bed. I got up and when I was about to leave the room I saw him on the balcony and he was talking about his parents and he was upset so I comforted him but he still couldn't sleep so I hugged him and he fell asleep instantly." I explain last night briefly and Lindsay smiles slightly.
"So, are you gonna do something?" She asks and I shrug.
"I really want to. Like really really want to. But I don't know when the right time would be or how I would do it." I say as Meg walks in the room.
"How you'd do what?" She asks, making a cup of tea and standing opposite us.
"How he'd ask out Gav." Lindsay says and Meg grins.
"I knew something would happen last night. I mean you were basically sitting on each other's laps on the sofa and you were all over each other and the flirting was almost unbearable to witness because it was so cute." She says.
"What was so cute?" Gavin asks, walking through the door holding a sleepy looking Olivia, both of them with messy bed hair and sleepy eyes and both looking adorable.
"Just some cat Meg says she saw outside our apartment building." I say and Gavin nods while Meg and Lindsay smirk at each other.

Gavin makes a bowl of cereal for Olivia before grabbing a cup of tea and joining us at the breakfast bar.
"So what-" he starts but is cut off by his phone ringing in his pocket. He takes it out and smiles when he sees the screen.
"Hey B." He says and I glare at the counter top.
"What? Why?" He says and I look up curiously, also noticing Meg and Lindsay watching him.
"B I don't have time, I can't just-" he says as he leaves the room and I look at Meg.
"Any ideas?" I ask and she shrugs.
"I can only assume he wants to know if anything happened between you too, but then I don't know what that has to do with Gavin having time." She says and I hear Gavin shout "for fucks sake." I look at Meg and Lindsay and once Gavin hasn't come back after a few minutes Meg nods towards the door as she takes the empty bowl from Olivia.
"Go check on him." She says and I nod, walking out of the room. I look in our bedroom and see Gavin sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands covering his face. His phone is lying on the other side of the bed and I assume he threw it out of anger, if his heavy breathing is anything to go by.
"Gavver?" I ask softly, walking into the room and sitting next to him.
"You alright boi?" I ask and he sighs, shaking his head. I move his hands from his face and frown. He looks angry and mad and tired and sad all at once.
"What happened boi?" I ask and he sighs again.
"Dan wants me to come to England before he leaves." He says and I frown.
"How long is he in England for?" I ask.
"A week." Gavin mumbles and my frown deepens.
"I told him I couldn't because we're here and I don't want to have to leave early and also I drove everyone and so you'd all have to leave too. But when I said I didn't want to Dan got mad. He said that he's going back on deployment in a week and he could die at any moment so I should go and visit him because I might never see him again but I still don't want to go but that means if something does happen to him he would have died mad at me and I don't want him to leave me." Gavin says and half way through his eyes start filling with tears. I grab his hand gently and squeeze it.
"Gav, it's not fair for him to expect you to drop everything and go to England. He came here so that you didn't have to go there. It's not fair for him to use the fact that he's in the army against you." I say gently.
"Dan has been my best friend since we were 3. If he leaves I don't know what I'd do. I'd have no one left. I need him." He says.
"Why'd you think that?" I ask.
"Dan told me that everyone else will leave eventually, you and Meg and Lindsay and Geoff. Even Olivia and Johnny are gonna grow up and leave. Dan said he's the only person that would be there for me and if I don't have him then I don't have anyone." He says and I feel anger bubbling up inside me.
"Gav I need you to listen to me, okay? Actually listen. I will not leave you. Neither will Meg and Lindsay and I've never met Geoff but from what I hear from Meg and Johnny, he won't either. Not everything Dan says is true Gav. If you don't have Dan you will still have so many people here for you. I promise." I say and Gavin looks down.
"Cross your heart?" He mumbles and I nod.
"Hope to die." I say and he nods.
"Alright now come on, we're in a lake house in the middle of nowhere, what do you wanna do?" I ask and he shrugs.

Turns out we swam in the pool or sunbathed all day, having a beer every once in a while. Watching Gavin play with his siblings in the water and teaching Olivia how to swim does something to me and I feel my ever-growing love for him grow 5 times bigger. We decide on a barbecue for dinner and I get the BBQ going while Meg and Gavin drive to the nearest shop, which is only a half an hour drive away, as we didn't plan on having a BBQ and so had no food. Luckily Megs uncle keeps charcoal and firelighters here anyway so they didn't need to buy that. We have a BBQ and at around 9pm when it's getting dark we light the fire pit and roast Marshmallows. Olivia falls asleep on Gavins lap and so he takes her to bed, telling Johnny he should go to bed too as he's falling asleep anyway, and comes back to Meg and Lindsay not here, as they've gone to bed too. He sits next to me and stares at the fire while we chat aimlessly.
"You alright?" I ask after a while and he nods, smiling slightly. "Yeah, I think so."

"Something's bothering you, what is it?" I ask, knowing that the smile he gives me doesn't reach his eyes.
"I just, I never argue with Dan." I sigh and put my hand on his knee, rubbing his leg trying to comfort him.
"Come on, let's go to bed." I say and Gavin stands up and goes straight to our room while I quickly put out the fire and put the rubbish or left out marshmallows away. I go into the room and see Gavin lying staring at the ceiling. I quickly change into a pair of joggers and climb into bed next to Gavin. I can tell he's about to say something and I take a guess at what it is. I hold my arms open slightly and Gavin immediately snuggles into my arms, lying how we did last night.