Crushes and Denial (Mavin)

Chapter 3

I drop Meg and the kids off first before looking over at Michael. We haven't been alone since just after the film and all I want to do is hold his hand again. Instead I look at the road and drive to Michaels apartment building.
"How'd you know where I live?" He asks and I shrug.
"I don't really, Meg said you live in the same building as Lindsay." I explain and Michael nods before looking over at me apprehensively.
"Er, thanks for the ride Gav." He says and I smile slightly.
"Any time." I reply and when Michael still doesn't get out of the car I look at him questioningly.
"You okay, Micool?" I ask and he nods.
"Yeah, uh. I'll see you later." He says and before I know it he's out of the car and walking towards the building. I'm not sure what I expected to happen, I got my hopes up I guess, but watching Michael walk away hurts more than I thought it would so rather than going into Michaels flat with him like I was hoping for I just sigh and drive home.

It feels strangely empty when I open the front door. There's no Johnny or Olivia making noise and their toys are tidied away and there's no mess and I feel my heart ache slightly. I miss having them around. There has never been a time when I haven't had at least one of them here and now I'm alone I feel so empty. I sigh and decide to just go straight to bed.

Michaels POV

I am so fucking stupid. All I had to do was invite him in. Just a few short words and I wouldn't feel so fucking foolish. Now Gavin has gone back to his home and I'm at my own home and we're not together and all I can think about is how his hand felt in mine. I had enough courage at the cinema to hold Gavins hand but now I don't even have the courage to fucking ask him inside. I sigh as I fall onto my bed and rub my hand over my face. Maybe I can call him tomorrow and ask him over? But Johnny said he has work tomorrow. I sigh again and close my eyes, deciding just to go to sleep.

Gavin's POV

I sigh as I drag myself out of bed and into the bathroom. I look into Johnny and Olivia's bedroom as I walk past and frown at the empty beds. It's so weird being alone. I get ready for work before driving to RT studios and meeting Geoff and the guys in the office. We have a productive day of filming and at 4:30pm Geoff says we can all go home. I text Meg and ask her where she is and she says she took the kids to the cafe so I decide to meet them there. I drive slightly faster than I should and pull up near the cafe within 10 minutes of leaving the office. I walk into the cafe and smile when I see Olivia and Johnny sitting in our usual spot with Meg. Olivia sees me and runs over, jumping into my arms and I grin, squeezing her tight.
"I missed you so much!" I whisper in her ear and she squeezes me back just as tight as I walk over to the table. Johnny hugs me and I smile.
"I missed you." He says and I smile. "I missed you too buddy."

It doesn't take long before Meg is asking me questions about what happened after she left.
"Meg nothing happened last night. I drove him home and that's it." I say and she frowns.
"Why didn't you invite him over?" She asks and I shrug, looking into my cup of tea.
"Alright fine, I'll let it drop this once but only because I wanna know what happened during the film." Meg says and I can't help the smile that appears on my lips or the slight blush that forms on my cheeks.
"Well during the film we were sat pretty close and half way through he brushed his little finger against mine and linked them together and after a few minutes he held my hand properly and he didn't let go until we were in the waiting area and we were talking and I said the film was good and he said the company was great but that's it. Oh and last night it looked like he wanted to say something but he just got out the car and went home." I explain and I realise Meg is smiling at me.
"You guys are so cute." She says and I roll my eyes.

Michael arrives a few minutes later with Lindsay and we chat for a while. An hour after we arrived at the cafe the door opens and my eyes go wide.
"B?" I mumble in shock. Dan is stood near the entrance to the cafe and it takes me a while to actually comprehend what I'm seeing.
"Miss me?" He asks and I look at Meg and she grins guiltily.
"Turney I actually love you." I say before I get up and walk over to Dan, grabbing him in a tight hug. Johnny and Olivia, once they've realised what's going on, run over to us and Dan picks them both up, them both squeezing him tight. After a few seconds we all pull away from the hug and join the guys, Dan sitting next to me and I sit so close I may as well be on his lap, I just need the reassurance that he's really here.
"Dan this is Micool and you've met Lindsay and Meg before, Micool this is Dan, my B, best friend of 17 years, or, as I like to call him, 'That prick that joined the army who could get blown up or shot at any moment'." I say and Dan chuckles.
"Haven't been blown up yet B. Apart from that time you almost blew me up." Dan says and I smile guiltily.
"I said I was sorry B." I say and Dan rolls his eyes. Michael says hello and Dan gets to know him a bit before the topic is back on Dan and I.
"Gav did you know Dan was coming?" Johnny asks and I shake my head. "No bud, why?"

"Because yesterday you said Dan could come visit." He says and I nod.
"Yeah but I didn't know he'd actually be here today. I thought he was still on deployment." I say and Dan smiles.
"I should be, but I was allowed to come home early." He says, having a sip of my tea. We spend a few hours in the cafe with everyone and I find out that Dan is only staying in America for a few days before going to visit his family in England. Dan is the main person that got me through everything that happened 2 years ago and he is basically my brother and I'm constantly terrified when he's out fighting and doing his thing in the army, so just to have him here is a huge relief. Dan leaves Tuesday morning so we only really have a day with him and Johnny and Olivia have school tomorrow and I have work so it's not even a full day but we're going to make the most of it.

Johnny, Olivia, Dan and I say bye to the other 3 and as we head out Dan picks Johnny up and puts him on his shoulders while we both hold one of Olivia's hands each and swing her every so often and I notice the way Michael looks at Dan in an almost jealous way, but honestly, I don't look too far into it because I'm just too busy staring at Dan, constantly needing the reassurance that he's actually here.
When we get back to the flat I put Olivia and Johnny straight to bed as it's 9:30 and they have school tomorrow. They decide they want Dan to read them a story so I stand in the doorway as Dan sits on Johnny's bed next to him, leaning against the headboard while Johnny lies down and Olivia sits curled up on Dan's lap and I smile at how perfect the scene is. I take a picture and grin, my favourite people, besides Meg, Geoff and Michael, in one room. Johnny and Olivia fall asleep a few minutes into the book and Dan carefully gets out of Johnny's bed and puts Olivia in her own before putting the book on the shelf and we both leave the room, going to sit in the front room.

"So you and Michael?" Dan starts once we've sat on the sofa.
"There is no me and Micool." I state and Dan raises an eyebrow, studying my eyes like he usually does when he's trying to read me or figure out what I'm thinking.
"Maybe not, but you want there to be." He says and I frown.
"Yeah." I mumble and he smiles sadly at me,
"You're scared." I nod, Dan has always been able to read me like a book.
"You don't want Johnny and Olivia to feel like you're abandoning them. You don't want them to get hurt again." He says softly and I bite my lip, thinking about their reaction when I had to tell them mum and dad died.
"Gav, stop thinking about it, it was better they heard it from you or they would have been even more hurt. They will not feel like you're abandoning them, they love you and they want you to be happy." Dan says and I shake my head as a tear falls down my cheek. Dan knows me so well, he knows what certain looks mean, he knows my train of thought, and he knows that I feel guilty for causing my siblings so much pain.
"B I can't hurt them again. I can't leave them." I whisper and Dan pulls me into a hug.
"You won't Gav. You're not leaving them." He says and I shake my head.
"They're all I have left B, I'm all they have. We've got each other, and that's good enough." I say and he shakes his head.
"Gav I want you to be happy and Michael makes you happy. Sure, they might feel a bit left out because you won't be spending as much time with them and you might have to leave them with Meg or Geoff in order to be with Michael but they'll get used to you not being around for them as much."

I sigh and just nod, too tired to fight with him and feeling like utter shit after what he just said, I don't want them to get used to it, they shouldn't have to.
"Come on, go to bed, I'll be there in a bit." Dan says and I nod, walking to my room and pulling on some shorts and a t-shirt before climbing into bed and after a few minutes Dan climbs in behind me. Ever since we were kids we slept in the same bed, like a security blanket. He reminds me of home and he's safe and comforting and I love him so much and I know that as long as I have Dan, everything will be okay.