reason to be loved ; phan

Part 1 ~Dan~

I was sitting on the soft, dewy morning grass. And it indeed was very much of a morning, a grey one. It was only 6 am.

I always woke up early, to be real. Today I had woken up at 5.50, but the abandoned park I was sitting in was only a few minutes away from home, but home was far enough. I didn't want to see that poor excuse of a house more than I needed to.

There was a small sketchbook balanced on top of my crossed legs, and the pages were filled with scribbles and doodles. Nothing seemed to work today. The air was hazy and moist (sorry I hate that word too), and there was pressure that you could actually feel, for example a slight headache and sweating. I hated this type of weather, but I had no choice. There was no way I was going back to my house.

I opened a clear page from my sketchbook and started to draw shapes. Soon I noticed that the shapes made a flower, more specifically tulip. Tulips were flowers that I found interesting. Tulips were so normal, but yet there was something about them. They seemed so.. mature. And simple. Just hanging around. No one really paid any attention to tulips, as they were so unoriginal and boring. But not to me.

The tulip turned out to be fine. I traced my fingers around the lines of it, accidentally smudging it. "Damn it", I cursed under my breath.

I raised my hands from the paper, taking off my black hood and ruffled my messy, slightly curly hair. I usually straightened it, but as I saw no one over the long and boring summer, I decided to let it be. I brought the hood back to my head.

I heard footsteps. Delicate, but yet footsteps of a person around my size, a bit smaller. Who could it be? No one knew this place. I raised my head a bit and saw a pair of compeletely white sneakers, and black skinny jeans. 'Skinny jeans'. What a funny word. Though as I looked more up I saw that the word 'skinny' indeed was fitting to the boy that was getting closer to me.

This lanky boy had a red plaid shirt on, and he had glasses. His bright blue eyes shined through the lenses, and his jet black hair was a weirdly good contrast to this Snow White-like skin.

And, he had a dog.

I had always loved dogs, but never owned one. I wasn't allowed to, of course.
And even though I was little, I knew that the dog wouldn't have a good place to live in my home. I didn't have.

Our eyes met for a brief, slow-motioned moment as he walked past me. He flashed a cute, small smile, but I did nothing back. I just stared. It wasn't being rude, I just wasn't used to people smiling at me, or paying any attention to me unless they were shouting something meaningless that my brains didn't register.

After he had passed me and flashed that goddamn smile, I felt my stomach twisting a bit. A small, weird feeling was lingering in the back of my head. My cheeks were quickly tinted pink. I gritted my teeth, I wasn't familiar with the feeling. I knew what it was, though.

Great.